Save Christmas
by Womboman
Summary: Wombo, Whitefur, and Tyronos must help Fox save Christmas.. Follow them as they do just that.. Extreme Randomness warning.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys I know Beginnings isn't finished but I decided to do a one-shot (On Your MOM! Lol JK) for a Christmas story so yeah Merry Christmas. I've decided to put a whole bunch of themes into this one because it's going to be extremely and utterly stupid so have fun trying to get through all of it. MUHAHAHA! Lovely now let's get started shall we? =) BTW Anything mentioned in here are not mine except for the ideas and how it's used to make something really stupid. SOZ DON'TZ SUEZ MEZ BECAUSEZ THATZ NOTZ GOODZ FORZ BUSINESSZ. Lol**

It was a boring day at the hangout for three Dead Sexy Jedi Ninja Assassins. They all played the hell out of Halo: Reach and Call of Duty Black Ops Nazi Zombies. It seemed that the only thing that would make their day interesting was riding a five-hundred story pony covered in chainsaws.

"Guys what should we do? We've already had tons of sex with whomever we may have chosen but still this day will not just end!." A six foot two inch gray fox stated in anger. This particular Vulpine had black tips on his ears and tail, his eyes were as green as emeralds. His hair on his head was a medium length and like his tail was black, it really made him handsome and attractive to any woman with a brain. The wore his favorite black army vest and black and white cameo pants and black metal combat boots, he was ready to kick some ass.

"I don't know we've had about everything done. The tree is set up gifts have been given to friends and relatives, we honestly have nothing better to do." An arctic fox with brown eyes said trying to calm the other gray fox. The white fox was a decent size build

A black fox spoke "I know! Let's volunteer at the homeless shelter!" his voice as sincere as possible. He was wearing a Metallica shirt with all members wearing Santa outfits back when Jason was still in the band, wearing dark blue pants with a chain hanging off the side. His hands were covered by fingerless gloves with the studs on the opposite side of the palms so if someone were to get nailed in the face it would scratch it up said face. His eyes were as blue as the deepest ocean.

The other two vulpines jumped up happily both shouting "YEAH!" they ran to the door lining up side by side.

"Alright you know the rules right guys?" the arctic fox queried already knowing the answer

"Hell yessums Whitefur how could we forget we made them up ourselves and signed a contract written in blood containing trace amounts of cocaine and urine." the black fox answered

Both of em looked at him in complete disgust the gray fox decided to remind the black one of what really happened "Come on Wombo its been written in history it wasn't cocaine and urine in our blood at the time," he paused for a moment "It was hooker spit and for some reason horse semen... Man that was a fucked up night." They all nodded their heads in remembrance of that night.. Man you should have been there. Anyway after they were done talking about the past they decided to get back to their race that they were going to do.

"Tyronos would you like the honor of counting down?" Whitefur offered

He nodded and looked forward with a determined look and started counting down "Three..."

Whitefur and Wombo nodded towards each other agreeing to a friendly competition between friends then looked forward down the hallway that would lead to the hallway where their cars were parked. Tyronos continued "Two..." he took a deep breath in and waited for dramatic effect. Then "ONE! GO!" They took off running down the hallway equally keeping up each others pace neither of the three gaining any ground on the other two. They hauled ass turning left booking it through the living room. Whitefur decided to take a chance by jumping over the couch to gain a good lead on them both. He jumped and thought to himself_ 'THEY GOT NOTHING ON ME! OH SHIT!' _he fell flat on his face as his foot caught on to the couch and he fell flat on his face. He was able to notice the other two vulpines turning a corner and making their way toward the garage.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY FAGGOT!"

"NEVER YOU COCKSHINER!" with his insult he tripped Wombo who fell forward but rolled and actually gained a lead on the other vulpine. "FUCK YOU WOMBO!" he only laughed as he went faster, but Tyronos was right on his tail. He tried to grab his tail in order to gain the lead but Wombo's tail went a different way which confused him but he soon understood why because he just ran right into the wall face first. "AW! Why does it always have to be my nose?"

Wombo looked behind him and saw Tyronos standing their trying to fix his nose, he laughed at him. Then he took it a little easier on his run to the garage. But he noticed a white blur, he realized it was Whitefur who had caught up and was in the lead now. He ran full speed now he turned the corner and ran after the arctic vulpine. But it was hopeless, Whitefur had already won. With a smirk of satisfaction he turned around and shouted in glee "I WON! YES!"

Wombo a little sore about his loss but nevertheless glad that he redeemed himself for blunder from earlier and won the race. They heard Ty coming down the hallway running full speed he stopped at the door panting for breath. "You guys... Fuggin.. Suck ass.." Whitefur and Wombo looked at him slightly baffled at how he was out of breath, but then they remembered that getting jobs was hard. Especially with StarFox around. They were all good friends but it seemed the public enjoyed them more than our good friends. It may be because that StarFox is a bit more appealing. Whatever the case was it was usually handled by StarFox, they had to get "Normal" jobs to cover costs of living the luxurious life they had or something like that. They all worked for the C.I.A investigating terrorists. They were investigating a case involving a high time terrorist called Derka-Derka who may have been planning something big but the chief made them stop the investigation to enjoy the holidays. They didn't think that much of it and accepted his generous offer.

Whitefur laughed at Tyronos for being lazy and not being able to run a short amount of land and not being out of breath. "What? At least I didn't fall on my face trying to jump over the couch." Ty retorted, Whitefur then shut his mouth.

Wombo decided to make things better by starting up the car. It was beautiful. The car was handed down to them by their fathers who were all once good friends and made that car from scratch. They put their souls into that car which made it go faster but now they weren't that fun of people to be with. But the car was just the definition of awesome. It was a stationwagon. But not just any stationwagon.. No.. This thing had a V32 engine for some reason and was equipped with machine gun rockets... That's right.. Machine gun rockets. It was straight up black with red pinstripes going across the sides.. Think of it like the A-Team's van.. Except it's a stationwagon. He turned on the stereo which was louder than whatever you played in it live. In Flames song Crawl Through Knives was playing.

"COME ON GET IN THE WAGON!" Wombo yelled over the speakers. He would turn down the volume but that would turn off the music but the song is just so awesome that it would be stupid. Ty and Whitefur quickly went in Ty riding shotgun and Whitefur in the middle of the back. The garage doors opened and Wombo sped off to go help the homeless with their food and hopefully some joy as well.

**Sweet First Chapter of this ridiculous story. I want to know what you guys think and let me know if I should keep it. I'm going to post this first chapter up just because.. You know because I want to see if people think it's a hilarious story or an insult to anything good or pure by fucking up CHRISTMAS! So Rate and Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Someone liked it and that's all I need to keep going. MUHAHAHA! Now follow the terrible terrible story as we delve deeper into the humor, drama, and the couch to find the remote.**

"GOD WHY DOES TRAFFIC HAVE TO SUCK?" Wombo yelled due to years of having road rage and finally letting it release and spread to Ty's and Whitefur's good mood.

"Because your mom is all like 'NOM NOM NOM!'" Ty retorted they both looked at him with a look that said You're-an-Idiot "I am not an idiot.."

"Dude we'll never make it to the homeless shelter if traffic sucks this much ass." Whitefur stated

"I know that.. Do you think?" Wombo looked at his companions for the ok. They both nodded their head and simultaneously said "Do it.." He looked down and there was a big red button that said "Beast Mode." and in even smaller lettering "Use Beast Mode only in dire situations."

Wombo pressed it and the car stirred a little, none of them looked even a little bit phased.

"Budada bu da!" Darrel was listening to his favorite song to help him get through the terrible traffic jam. He was a little creeped out by the stationwagon which was black and had red pinstripes across the side.. Kinda reminded him of the A-Team's van except dumber and even so far as to unnecessary. But he shrugged it off and went back to his song he was singing "I was Like Baby Baby OH! Baby Baby Baby OH! Baby.. Baby.. What the fuck?" He looked to his right and the stationwagon was transforming right in front of his eyes. He thought it was that hit of acid he took earlier but that was like a day ago and he was pretty sure that it had taken his course but he thought he ran over a unicorn covered in mini chainsaws earlier. The car started sprouting wings which crashed right through his window and screwed up the right of his car easily not even getting a scratch on the wing. It came extremely close to his face. It started lifting up his car and he was scared he opened up his car door and tried to jump out of the car but was too much of a chicken shit to do anything. So he stayed and then the engines from the other car thing started revving and in no time he was flying at speeds of one hundred and forty-five miles per hour. He couldn't take that so he flew out the side of car.

"Dude! There was a baby blue Prius hanging off the side of the stationwagon! A dude flew out of the side! Do you have any idea what you've done?" Tyronos said freaking out

"It's alright dude.." Wombo said calmly

"How is it alright?"

"Because my good friend he was listening to Justin Bieber and singing along to his stupid auto-tuned voice so whatever. One less little faggot who listens to that shit is fine with me."

"Oh. That makes it alright then." He sat back in his seat and looked out the window "Well hurry up and let's not get pulled over by the co-" He was interrupted by sirens that sounded like a mariachi band.

"FUCK! Why of all days do we have to get pulled over!" Wombo yelled out in agony

They heard an authorative voice coming from the light of the sirens "Pull over the vechicle or we will light you up.. That is a promise."

"Extra violent today huh?" Tyronos asked

"DUDE! What are we going to do? If we get arrested the homeless will have to wait longer for their soup and stale bread." Whitefur said hysterically

"Calm down! I got dis!" Wombo parked over on a side street and shut off the stationwagon and waited for the officer. There was a tap on the window he pulled it down and asked "What seems to be the problem officer?" He looked up at the officer who was wearing the stereotypical big black sunglasses and wearing his bike helmet. The officer took off his sunglasses and raised up a picture of a little boy and asked "Do you know John Connor?"

Wombo yelled as did Tyronos and Whitefur they all looked at each other turning their direction towards each other. Wombo turned the key and quickly left the scene all of them scared for their lives.

Wombo looked behind him and the officer only glared at them "I think we're going to be ok." Wombo said trying to reassure everyone

"What was that all about?" asked Whitefur a little freaked out from their experience

"That my good friend was fucked. That was a terminator reference and I swear to god whoever is writing this pathetic attempt at humor does not send another one of those because I would be pissed."

"... What?" Whitefur looked at him extremely confused as to what he just said. Especially the last part. This was real life there isn't some loser sitting up in his room typing on a busted ass laptop praying to god that he doesn't lose what he is typing because if the power cord even slightly moves there goes the power to the laptop and seeing as what he uses doesn't save what he writes without saving goes away and therefore his audience suffers. "Well... I'd hate to be that John Connor kid.."

Tyronos nodded "Yeah but I'm sure whoever he is can handle himself." Tyronos said reassuring himself and Whitefur "So.. Wombo how far are we?" He heard the engine turn off "We're here!"

"Oh.." He said surprised at how the authour decided not to put in some more fill even though he is sitting in school doing nothing except of what is for lunch and what his teacher would like in a bikini because damn that bitch is hot! So in all honesty he should've put in some more stuff to make for a better story and a better read for his audience but he is too lazy so whatever. He shrugged it off and left the stationwagon and ran after Whitefur and Wombo. They opened the doors and noticed something was off.. Like the lights. They were grabbed by some unknown force but it felt like big Russian arms. Because Russian arms are big and Russians eat their young if they aren't strong enough to continue living all by themselves... Proven fact.

"Whoa! What the fuck gives?" Wombo yelled in desperation. He was immediately punched in the face by a big Russian fist because Russians get mad if you ask questions in desperation.

"Shut up Comrade or I will shoot you where you stand!" an angry booming Russian voice threatened because Russians do that and everything else stated earlier is also true. Why? Because it makes for a good harmless stereotypical joke.

They were forced to take a seat and were immediately tied up in uncomfortable seats. You know the kind when you can feel your ass bones on when you sit down. Those ones anyway a calm voice spoke to them "We need your help."

Whitefur looked at where the voice came "You know you could've just came to our place and asked us right? We're there twenty-four-seven."

"Shit really?"

"Yeah.." They all said in unison all answering the question

"Shit... Let them go!"

They immediately felt their hands become free

"Follow me! There is much to be done!"

**Chapter two of this ridiculous story. Honestly I didn't expect it to get this far. Lol. The chapters are going to be short and sweet and right down to the point. Just so you know.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three jizzing all over the scene. What? Anyway. I'm glad that the people who are reading this are enjoying it instead of making death threats to me which are welcome too. =) Do something.. Anyway here is chapter three of this really dumb story**

They stood up and looked behind them and saw a big Russian bear because that's what Russia's political animal is. You know how the Democrats have donkeys and the Republicans have elephants? Yeah well Russia has bears. "What are you looking at pussy-shit American?" Wombo was caught staring at him.

He thought he would say something like that so he quickly retorted with "I am looking at a scared little child. You need a hug. When is the last time you were hugged?"

The bear scoffed "We Russians are not scared children. We do not need your bullshit comfort called a hug." he spit at the ground in front of Wombo

"I'm pretty sure you need a hug." he held out his arms. The bear only looked at him like he was crazy.

"If I give you a hug will you stop talking?" Wombo nodded his head

The bear sighed and looked away and went into the warm embrace that Wombo was possessing. He slightly liked it and then snapped out of it. "Get off me faggot." He pushed the persistent vulpine away from him who stopped.

"Achem! If we may continue we have better things to do than pussyfoot around with my men. Now please follow me." the previous voice said. It came from a jaguar who was wearing a trench overcoat and fingerless gloves. He also had a pierced ear with a little tiny hoop ring. Like it was honestly a ring through his ear. He wore heavy Russian boots with the Russian emblem on the right boot.

"Yeah quit flirting with his dude." Whitefur yelled

"I'm not flirting with him. He has some issues and I thought we could help deal with those. But I guess not." Wombo snapped

"Gentlemen! Please let us go." the panther said in an attempt to actually get somewhere which would be good because this a terrible excuse of a chapter so far. They followed him down a corridor where there were other people working on something or possibly just pretending to do something important. They were various machines which beeped and booped and other various noises that were probably unnecessary but whatever. They approached the middle which was a holographic table that showed various planets in the universe. "Gentlemen please take a seat." the panther offered a hand showing them where the seats were.

"Ah these crappy ass seats?" Tyronos asked kinda tweaked

"You can stand you don't have to sit." Whitefur said

Tyronos looked at him and the seat. "Fine.. Stupid.. Tit.." Tyronos mumbled to himself while taking a seat.

"Now then gentlemen we need your help." the panther repeated

"Yeah you told us that before. So what do you need done?"

"The planet Sauria is collapsing." He pointed towards the middle of the table where a small little marble size ball was which looked very similar to the Dinosaur planet. "We originally sent StarFox to get the job done but that was a month ago. We heard that you guys were more efficient than them."

"What?" Wombo said after flicking a booger from his finger. Tyronos and Whitefur smacked their foreheads at his inability to pay even the slightest bit attention.

"Perhaps our information was wrong. Maybe you guys aren't that efficient."

Tyronos leapt to his feet "We are he is just a little off. Trust me sir we can do this."

The panther looked at the trio of vulpines and thought a little _'Well.. The black one is probably half retarded. The one they call Tyronos is kinda bitchy. Well.. Whitefur.. I can really bag on him.. Except that he extremely white. But that is about it. Ah fuck it! The author of this story can't think of a better thing to do then have me think about these three morons and if they are capable about doing the mission. He can make them capable so whatever. Besides if they die it should make for a funny ending.'_

"Fine.. I will give you a chance to do this. But if you fuck up. I will hunt you guys down and rip your heads from your bodies and keep them mantled on my wall. I will jack off to the memory of doing it every other Thursday. I will jizz all over your faces when I get off. Do you hear me?" Tyronos looked at him for any indication that he was joking

He wasn't..

"We understand sir. So you really didn't tell us what we need to do." He was handed a folder which said "Classified" and in even smaller writing it said "If you tell anyone else about this information we will fucking kill you."

"That contains what you will need to know and remember keep this information safe and let no one else find out. We will kill you if the public finds out about this."

"Well what is this?"

"I don't know but don't let me find out because we'll kill you."

"Yeah we got that.."

"We'll kill you."

"Yeah you've said that about forty times."

"We'll kill you."

"Come on let's go guys."

"We'll kill you." But that fell on deaf ears. They left the building and went back to the stationwagon wondering what the hell the author just put them through. Like that was a trip.

"So what are we going to do?" Whitefur asked

"Well it says here that they want us to find.. Santa?" Tyronos said wondering if this was true

"Are you shitting me? Santa? Isn't he in the North Pole?"

"No he lives in Finland." Wombo said

"Well apparently him and went to the planet Sauria because the elves were being little pricks and they left to take some time off." Tyronos explained

"Well shit.. I wonder why they sent StarFox after them." Whitefur queried

"Well we won't find out here! Let's go save Santa!" Wombo exclaimed. He turned on the staionwagon and they created a sonic boom on their way to the Dinosaur planet to go save Santa.

**Look! Three chapters in a week! There amazingly short though. So what? I'm updating huh? True. Alright I might or might not have a chapter up later today continuing from where this left off. You'll see what I'll do. WOMBO OUT!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well here is chapter number four. I hope to have this finished before Christmas definitely before the new year. Remember to Review because those are always nice. Besides I'm updating this fucking story why shouldn't I get an extra review? I don't know either. But you let me know.**

"Sir it seems there is a stationwagon approaching the surface. What would you have me do?"

"Shutup you little prick! God fucking dammit. I already knew this you dumb fuck!"

"So what should we do?"

"Let them land you queer! God do I have spell it out for you? Are you that retarded?"

"No sir.. Sorry sir.."

"Quit apologizing you little pussy! That's what gets you killed."

"Okay sir.."

* * *

"Guys what the hell is that above Sauria?" Whitefur pointed at a big huge battle cruiser just hovering above Sauria's moon.

"I don't know man. Is it in the information packet?" Wombo asked

Tyronos flipped through it "No man.. Nothing useful." he tossed it in the back

"Well dudes we have two options we can either go towards the big ship or we can go around it and go onto the planet. It's a democracy here. All those in favor of going towards the ship say 'Aye'"

It was silent the only thing being heard was the purr of the engine. "All of those opposed? Say 'Ah Hell Nah!'"

"Ah Hell Nah!" Tyronos said expressing his dissatisfaction

"Ah Hell Nah!" Whitefur repeated

"Seems we're going on the planet. Fasten your seatbelts I am not getting another ticket for that bullshit again." They all then put on their seatbelts and descended towards the planet.

It was beautiful the planet's surface the sun was shining bright and strong, the trees greener then the finest weed, the sky and water bluer than a naked smurf.

"Tyronos check for StarFox's ships it should make it easier for us to find them and understand what the heck is going on." Wombo suggested

Tyronos opened the glove compartment which had a super computer in it. He put the sun blocker down which was a HUD. "What was their I.D. again?" Tyronos asked

"It's the same in Halo Reach bro SF64." Whitefur reminded him.

"Oh yeah, hey remember when you tossed a lucky plasma grenade and it killed them?"

Whitefur scoffed "It wasn't luck, just pure skill." Tyronos shook his head and rolled his eyes he then proceeded to type in the tag. The screen told him "Please wait a minute while we decide whether or not to cooperate..." Tyronos pulled a gun on it "Fine! We'll do it! God fucking asshole gotta pull a gun on a computer."

"Where did you get that?" Wombo asked

Tyronos looked at it in amazement "I've had this gun since I was six. I killed my whole entire family with it and never looked back." The other two vulpines looked at him bewildered. Tyronos busted out laughing the other two started laughing kind of scared hoping that it was just a joke. Ty stopped laughing abruptly, they still laughed a bit more but soon stopped too. "That was a joke."

"Oh good you had us going for a while." Whitefur said relieved that it was truly a joke. Tyronos went back to the screen when it beeped and said "I found them good sirs. Now where is my cookie?"

"YOU DON'T GET A COOKIE!" Tyronos yelled "COOKIES ARE FOR US! YOU CAN'T HAZ COOKIE!"

"... Awww..." The computer shut off leaving a blank screen

"Where does it want us to go?" Wombo asked

"Go left you should see their ships on the ground."

"How many of them are there?"

"Just one."

"What? What happened to the rest of StarFox? They usually go together don't they?" Whitefur asked concerned

"Well yeah back when everything was all cool. See from what I heard from Falco. Fox pushed Krystal away in order to protect her." Tyronos explained

"Well what about the rest of them?"

"Well Peppy became the General of the Cornerian military after Pepper died of Testicular Cancer and AIDS." Tyronos continued "Slippy was too fucking clumsy and he slipped on a bannana and fell right into a meat grinder. Remember when we had that meat scare? That was Slippy's doing. Falco left because apparently they were cramping his style."

"Cramping his style? What style? He can't shoot for shit in any of the video games. All he has is an attitude problem. He thinks he's the bees knees when in all honesty the player could probably go through all of the levels without any of his help." Whitefur argued

"You make a good point but this is Falco we're talking about so the game developers probably wanted a diverse cast of characters with their own strengths and weaknesses. Falco must've gotten the short end of the nipple and just epic failed."

"Well whatever he has shit for a style and is actually a prick. Not that fun of a guy. Always putting people down believing he should be the main character. Fuck him."

"Shit here is an Arwing!" Wombo exclaimed. He applied the brakes and stopped the stationwagon slowly bringing it down close to the Arwing. When he felt it reach the ground he put in park and turned Beast Mode off. They left the stationwagon and Whitefur climbed up on the Arwing thinking maybe the owner was inside of it.

"Guys no one is here." Whitefur informed them

Wombo kicked the ground "Well shit! Now what do we do? Those Russians failed at telling us what to do." Whitefur looked around at the space that they had. They were in an open circle which was surrounded by trees. He looked behind him and noticed a trail of boots. "GUYS! I think I found something." He jumped off of the Arwing and followed the trail which lead right into the forest. He was joined by Tyronos and Wombo who also noticed the shoe prints.

"Maybe he went this way." Tyronos suggested. They looked at each other then at the shoe prints.

"Well... Only one way to find out." Wombo then walked off into the forest. The other two vulpines looked at each other.

"Ladies first." Whitefur said holding out his arms

Tyronos chuckled then grabbed his arm and threw him into the forest he then heard "NOT FUNNY ASSHOLE!" He then followed after the two into the deep forest.

**Cool fourth chapter. These are coming quick for a reason. Because I hate doing two stories at the same time. But I would love to do two chicks at the same time. Ladies? No? Alright anyway expect the next chapter to come either Monday or Tuesday. See ya then!**


	5. Chapter 5

**In case any of you wondering, I am not gay. I do not like guys phalluses in my butt or in my mouth. Oh I've been getting threats by Russians for this story. I was only joking guys Russians are awesome ok? I do not want to threaten your way of life. So here we go Chapter Five. Keep those reviews coming in. HUA! DRUMMER POOP! AMERICA FUCK YEAH!**

"Sir they have landed on the planet and are making their way towards the Palace. What do you want us to do?"

"DO I HAVE TO HOLD YOUR FUCKING HAND THROUGH EVERYTHING? SEND OUR MEN AFTER THEM! YOU DUMB LITTLE BASTARD!"

"Yes sir.. It shall be done sir.."

* * *

"Guys where are we going? I swear to god I've seen that tree like five times." Tyronos pointed to a sign that had half naked dinosaur women and also said "Live Nudes. Cum for Tranny Tuesdays."

"Have you ever been to Sauria? That's all that's here and they advertise the fuck out of it so that it's extremely common. Besides the mosquitos the size of canned hams. There is one right there." They all looked where Whitefur was pointing which was a mosquito the size of a canned ham.

"What's up?" the mosquito said

Wombo jumped up into Tyronos's arms new bride style. Wombo looked up at Tyronos "How's it going.. Can you let me down?" He let go of Wombo who fell with a thud. "Ow you dick!"

Whitefur approached the mosquito "Hey do you remember seeing a vulpine about my size coming through here? He has a white streak of hair that goes down the middle, green eyes, orange-reddish fur."

The mosquito looked deep in thought. Five minutes later he said "Shit I know what you're talking about yeah that guy came through here said he was going to go save Santa and Christmas. Went to the local bar to go find out where they last saw the fat man."

Whitefur thanked the mosquito and went off towards the local bar "My name is Bill by the way. If you guys were interested I'm extremely good friends with the owner and I can get information that most people can't. Besides you guys look new here and the local gangs would tear you guys a new cornhole because they don't have enough money to get into the live nude shows and get a private session so they rape dudes for some reason but beat up homosexuals. I find it to be an extreme contradiction but denial only goes so far."

"Right... Alright well lead the way.. Bill." Whitefur let him lead them into town.

In twenty minutes they witnessed a site they haven't seen since the Big Four played in Sofia Bulgaria which was awesome and probably way more awesome than what they were witnessing now but they couldn't compare it to anything else. Maybe when Lamb of God played in Philadelphia but they weren't sure because the crowd seemed kind of lame on the CD version for a Lamb of God concert which was some mega failz fist.

The town that Bill had lead them into was looked like in the video game Red Dead Redemption the town of Armadillo. It had a jail in which their criminals were held up in and the sheriff took residence. It had a general store and a doctor's office. It also had the Strip Club which advertised their Dinosaur women getting nailed by a tranny dinosaur.

"Dude this place gets weirder and weirder. Talking mosquitos. Dinosaur trannys. What the fuck is this author have? I bet he'll probably go kill some people if they make a joke about him." Tyronos said to his two friends

"I agree we should bail as quickly as possible. We probably stand out like we wouldn't believe." Wombo said

"Yeah I do not like this story so far. I can't believe the person who originally came up with the idea for me let me get into this story. Fuck my life." Whitefur said a tear welling up in his eye

"Yeah me too bro. God damn it Hopeless-Tyronos I will fucking murder you if I get the chance." Tyronos said shaking his fist at the blue sky

"Whatever you guys I was created by him so I'll probably be the weirdest one. He probably feels a little sympathy towards you two but towards me. He could have me get fucked in the mouth by those trannys and like it.. Ugh.." Wombo complained

"What are you guys talking about back there?" Bill asked stopping their conversation

"Not about getting fucked in the mouth by Dinosaur Trannys if that's what you mean." Wombo said quickly

Bill looked at him extremely confused and a little bit horny

"... Keep that type of shit to yourselves.. Faggots.."

* * *

"Is that them?"

"Yeah, description matches up."

"Why are they even here?"

"My guess is the same as the other guys reason to be here. We'll catch these guys just like we caught the other guy."

"Right. Set it to stun then?"

"You know what.. Set it to 'Barely Alive' that should make it fun for us."

"You got it sir."

* * *

They entered the local bar which happened to be the Live Nudes place. They looked around and saw some decent looking Dinosaur women dancing for their men and money so they could feed themselves. Wombo squinted his eyes when he looked over at the back corner.

"Dude check out that chick. What is that?" Wombo asked Tyronos who then looked back their too. He immediately covered his mouth and his cheeks expanded as if something had filled them. "What? What is it?" Tyronos pointed down towards the genital area of what they were checking out. Wombo imitated what Tyronos did not even five seconds ago.

"Hey guys isn't today Tuesday? I don't see any Trannys anywhere" Whitefur asked. His two friends then puked the contents of their stomachs up which included a piece of toast and eggs, fireworks and the board game Stratego. The puke was orange and quickly switched to red as they started puking up blood.

"Oh my fucking God guys! Are you puking up blood?" The puke immediately turned back to orange. It must have been the lights in this place. After they recovered from their experience they noticed that everyone else was staring at them.

"Hey.. How's it going." Wombo waved at them half-heartily. They immediately went back to what they were doing before the show. They sat down at the bar, the bartender came towards them and asked "What'll it be?"

"I'll take a Shirley Temple" The bartender immediately made Wombo his drink. He took a sip of it and four people came in and sat down at the bar with them. Two on one side, Two on the other. So it was two on the left side of Tyronos who sat by Wombo sitting in the middle and Whitefur on his right and two others on Whitefur's right

One of them tried to mingle with Whitefur "Hey pal. How come your fur is so white?" Whitefur ignored him "Come on tell me how you get is so white? Is it natural or do you dye it?" Whitefur looked over at Tyronos who nodded "Why won't you tell me BLECH!" The man was interrupted by a blade in his throat. Whitefur threw him into the man who was sitting next to the now deceased man. Tyronos stabbed the man sitting next to him in between the eyes.

The dinosaur strippers screamed in fear of them one shouted "ASSASSINS! DEAD SEXY ASSASSINS!" they jumped off stage and ran in the back. The men moaned and got pissed at the vulpines for ruining their afternoon. They pulled out knives and put on brass knuckles. One of them actually had a trident which was and Tyronos killed the other two with ease then focused their attention towards the mob of angry dinosaur dudes

"Wombo help us out!" Tyronos yelled

"I don't know you guys." Wombo shouted back he went back his Shirley Temple

"Wow what an asshole." Whitefur said but knew that Wombo was merely trying to get a jump on the other guys which he took that moment and killed two of them with hidden blades. Whitefur and Tyronos joined him and started killing dudes left and right. One of them bumped into the jukebox which immediately started playing Slayer's song Raining Blood which fit the situation quite nicely it was immediately after the suspensful dun dun dun with Kerry King and Jeff Hanneman doing the Wah parts in the beginning and was in the the riff following right after.

"Who put this song on?" Tyronos yelled

"It's on random!" the bartender yelled back

"Sweet." Whitefur said in appreciation of the author's choice in music because this song is an amazing song. **Anyone who doesn't like it can suck my balls!** They slashed and hacked their way the mob of angry men. They were no match for the awesomeness of the three vulpines. After the final note of the song they were the only ones standing.

"Check their bodies for any clues as to where they were from. It might help lead us to Fox." Wombo ordered

"Can we check them for some money?" Tyronos asked

"Of course but remember give some to the bartender and tip the waitress."

"There isn't a waitress."

"Whatever dude. Better than the tranny in the back." He immediately felt a big hand slap him across the back of the head. He looked around and saw the Tranny from earlier holding out her/his hands. "God damn it.." He gave it twenty bucks

"Is that all? You ruined my night. I was going to at least get a hundred."

"FINE!" He gave it an extra eighty bucks, then it smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He jumped up and down screaming "NO! NO! UGH! GROSS DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT?" They ignored him. Whitefur noticed something. It looked like a description of them. He went through it and saw that the men who sat next to them were supposed to kill them.

"Guys check it out.." They huddled around him and looked at what he had in his hand. "Apparently our friends here were ordered to kill us."

"Why would they want to do that? We're awesome!" Tyronos exclaimed

"I don't know but apparently they were sent from that big ship." Whitefur said

"Sweet let's get back to the stationwagon and kick some ass! Try to find out more info on that thing."

"Already doing that."

**I'M DONE! I AM NEVER TYPING TWO CHAPTERS UP IN A DAY! FUCK THAT! I will probably do it again.. It was fun. That's how you kill time children. See ya soon guys.**


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys keep writing reviews it warms my heart. I have given a little bit of attention to my other fic I think you guys will like that a lot. Elite Storm I'm going to thank you in advance to a great idea, hope you like what I will do with it. Give him a look he's got a Bayonetta and Darksiders crossover. Compelling stuff. I wanna also thank General Whitefur and Hopeless-Tyronos for being good sports and not tearing me a new ass hole. Alright so here it is Chapter Six of SAVE CHRISTMAS!**

"Sir they have failed us in retrieving the three vulpine threats."

"OF COURSE THEY DID! WE GAVE THEM NO TRAINING WHATSOEVER! SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE FUCK? I SENT THEM TO LURE THEM HERE! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! YOU NEVER SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE!"

_'I saw your mom in a bikini.. That was a pretty big picture.'_

"NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I FEED YOU TO THE SHARKS!"

* * *

"What should we do about Fox's Arwing?" Whitefur asked

"Well we can't leave it here.. It'll be looted by the locals for sure." Tyronos noted "There is a whole bunch of crime here."

"Yeah it's not really a place to come and relax. Honestly what was Santa thinking when he came here. I mean look at this."

The scenery looked like downtown Detroit. Random fires everywhere. Sirens wailing their high pitched scream. People breaking into stores and stealing Television sets. A couple of homeless persons drinking their forties.

"Some Christmas. Crime everywhere, Hobos drinking their lives away. This place is a mess." Tyronos said

"Maybe they were thinking of the planet Sauria Two. You know the one that doesn't fall apart." Whitefur suggested

"That could've been it. Nice thought Whitefur." Whitefur bowed in gratitude towards Wombo "Now let's get the fuck out of here." They all nodded and went inside of the stationwagon.

"Come on put Beast Mode on and let's get out of here!" Whitefur exclaimed

"BEAST MODE... ON!" Wombo pressed the big read button which said "Beast Mode." and the stationwagon once again changed back into a flying stationwagon. "LET'S GO!"

They lifted off Wombo looked straight forward ignoring the seagull that just smacked into the windshield he merely turned on the windshield wipers and continued going as it's blood filled the windshield. "God damn it Wombo try not to hit other things." Tyronos yelled

"Whatever it should've gotten out of the way." Wombo calmly said, Tyronos shook his head _'Idiot..'_

They saw the ship still hovering above the planet. They stared in amazement at the ship and it's beauty. It was huge like a Battleship Cruiser from the StarWar series which the author doesn't own.

"Should we go in there guns ablazing?" Wombo asked

"Well let's go in there and see what the fuck they want from us. Then if we don't like we can go in there guns ablazing." Whitefur reasoned which made a lot of sense they went towards the ship and it looked like they would crash

"HEY WOMBO WATCH OUT FOR THE SHIP!" Tyronos yelled shaking him violently

"I CAN'T I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT!" He yelled back shaking Tyronos back as well

"Maybe it could be their tractor beam because check it out there is a big bright green light shining around us." They stopped choking each other as they listened to his words which were true. They took their hands off each other and looked at the light encircling the stationwagon bringing them up into the hangar. The door behind them shut hissing at them loudly it sounded like it called them Fags but that was impossible... Wasn't it?

The people who occupied the ship surronded the stationwagon one of them shouted "Step out of the stationwagon or you will be light up like a fucking Christmas tree! That is a promise!"

"What should we do guys? They might want to kill us." Wombo asked

"I sense they may want to talk to us. But I've been wrong before." Tyronos said

"Yeah just like the time you thought it wasn't laced with LSD we were so fucking scared." Whitefur insulted bringing up the time they smoked Nightmare which is Marijuanna with Acid which will have you tripping balls in no time.

"Maybe this time is different.. Throw something out the window." Tyronos suggested Whitefur looked in the back and found a teddy bear which he tossed out the side window

"NO! NOT ! YOU BASTARD!" Wombo shouted as he watched his favorite teddy bear get shot down and burnt to a crisp by all of the blaster shots. "NOOOOOOO! I'LL KILL YOU WHITEFUR! AFTER I KILL ALL THESE SONS OF BITCHES!"

"WAIT! We need a plan!" Tyronos said holding him back with the help of Whitefur but even that was extremely hard he even had his seat belt on.

"YEAH I'M GOING TO KILL THEM LIKE THEY KILLED ! LIKE THE DOGS THEY REALLY ARE!

* * *

"What do you think they're doing in there?"

"Probably having gay butt sex before we totally annihilate them."

"Right..."

* * *

"So then that's the plan alright? Any questions?" Tyronos asked

Wombo raised his hand

"What do you want Wombo?"

He held out his arms "Can I have a hug? I really need one.." Wombo asked almost crying

"Uh... What?"

"A hug. I really need one. Please? It was just so traumatizing I don't know if I can stand it for the next couple of chapters."

Tyronos sighed "FINE! But we speak of this to no one! Whitefur it seems you got Wombo's job."

"I can do that!" He went into the way back which was a big control room where all of the stationwagon's weapon systems were and all that good junk. Things such as Lazer guns which were attached to the wing and were always invisible so they could light anyone up at a moment's notice

"Quit crying he was just a teddy bear."

"FUCK YOU! HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND! DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT !"

* * *

"We should totally kill these guys like right now see their like totally getting it on in there." They looked at a rocking stationwagon which swayed left and right

"But they're fucking each other! Let's wait until they finish. Give them that ok?"

"Fine but as soon as it stops light it up!" They pointed their weapons in anticipation for any sudden movement from the stationwagon

They heard a plop and looked over to where it was, one of their comrades have fallen.

"What the fuck was that?" that voice was silenced

"THEY'RE ATTACKING! FIRE!" they shut at the stationwagon which seemed like their shots only bounced off not even making a burn mark

"GRENADE OUT!" one of them tossed a grenade at it and others followed but they all stopped in the middle of the air and were tossed as if by some magical force at the other ships which all blew up sending them flying off their feet and landing on their backs.

* * *

"DON'T FUCKING BITE ME!" Tyronos yelled in pain smacking Wombo

"TAKE IT BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He growled through his teeth

"FINE! WAS A BEAST!"

"NO HE IS A BEAST! HE IS!"

"FINE HE IS A BEAST!" Wombo let go immediately "Dude.. I think you drew blood."

"SHUTUP UP THERE! I'M TRYING TO KICK SOME ASS!" Whitefur screamed from the back "YOU'RE BREAKING MY CONCENTRATION!"

"Oh shit sorry!" Tyronos apologized "Quit kicking me asshole!"

"That was the last one."

"Like hell it was!"

* * *

"Why do I have to be the last one!" He desperately shot at the stationwagon but like everything else that happened he failed and was cut down. He gargled on his blood and decided to leave a gift for the three vulpines and set off a grenade. Kinda like the perk Martyrdom in Modern Warfare but there wasn't a killcam.

"Let's see how they like this.." As he drowned in his blood and died

* * *

"I think it's cool to get out of here." Whitefur said a little cautious

"QUIT FUCKING KICKING ME!" Tyronos lunged at Wombo and started punching him in the face

"FINE!" Tyronos slowly got off of him "Don't have to be a little bitch."

"I didn't cry when my teddy bear got thrown out the window and torn to pieces!"

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

"GUYS! LET'S GET FOX AND TRY TO FIND SANTA! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Whitefur yelled silencing both of their petty vendettas against each other

Whitefur left the stationwagon extremely steamed. They noticed a smile on of the dead guards and saw in his hand was a grenade which was then let go as if on cue.

BOOM! They flew off their feet a little shaken but they weren't harmed in the process. "That was a total fail of a grenade." Wombo said

"Yeah what the hell was he thinking?" Tyronos asked a little humored at the guard's attempt to harm or maybe even kill them.

"Yeah well which way do we go?" Whitefur asked

"I don't know.. Hey look there is a directory." He ran and was followed by Whitefur and Wombo to a directory which was similar to that of a mall.

"Well it says we're in the hangar and... It looks like they would have Fox in the dungeons so... Let's go there." Tyronos said

**Hell of a chapter.. Super fun writing it.. Uh.. I'm pretty sure I had something to say but I can't find out what so I'll just leave it alone.. It'll come back to me.. Hopefully.. OH SHIT! If you have a story that you would like put into a community just send me a message. Make sure it is a StarFox story because I'm going to try and get everyone their chance on this site. It's only fair. So if you or someone else has a good first idea that they have finished writing or started writing send it to me in a private message I will try to check out the story A.S.A.P and it might be added depending on the Win to Fail ratio. See ya later!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Gathering a whole bunch of reviews for this silly idea that came to me.. Makes me feel good.. I was wondering.. How do you guys feel about a sequel to this?**

"Sir they've been boarded and they are making their way down towards the dungeon. What would you have us do?"

"DO I HAVE TO SPELL THIS SHIT OUT FOR YOU? I AM GOING TO DEAL WITH THEM MYSELF!"

He was pushed out of the way into the wall "Yes sir... Sorry sir.." and watched his lord leave him

"Guys I'm pretty sure we're close to where Fox is held up." Whitefur said

"Which one was his again?" Tyronos asked

"I'm pretty sure it was cell block sixty-nine.. Ha! Sixty-nine."

They looked at the numbers on the top of each cell.. Sixty-six... Sixty-seven... Sixty-eight... Sixty-nine

"Here it is guys!" Whitefur exclaimed.

They stared at the door. Not really sure what to do. They heard a weak voice come from within the cell "Hello?"

"Fox? Is that you Fox?" Wombo called out

"Yeah it's me. Are you here to make fun of me like the others?" He asked in a bitter tone

"No we're here to rescue you!" Tyronos said

"No one wants to save me... I'm supposed to die here.." He said depressingly

"Fox! Come on bro! Let's get the fuck out of here!" Whitefur called out

"Who are you guys? Huh? Answer me that!"

"It's us! Wombo, Whitefur, and Tyronos!" there was no immediate response

"Wombo?"

"Yeah it's me Fox come on let's go!" Wombo answered

"Whitefur?"

"Yeah I'm here Fox.." Whitefur said trying to reach out

"Tyronos?"

"Yeah we're all here! We need to leave now!" Tyronos said expressing the situation that they were in

"... Alright... Let's blow this popsicle stand!" They all shouted "FUCK YEAH!"

Wombo told Fox to stay clear of the door which he did. He pulled out his blue lightsaber and started to cut through the thick metal door that separated them.

Two wandering guards stepped around a corner one of them shouted "You're not supposed to be here!"

"Well duh! What are you going to do about it!" Tyronos challenged

They both cracked their knuckles and their necks. "I'll tell you what we'll do." He sneered at them "We're going to write a letter to our boss saying that we had very bad guests and that they shouldn't be welcome anymore."

The other one laughed "How do you like that? Bitches?"

Whitefur looked at Tyronos surprised and in shock "Are they serious?"

"You bet we're serious.. We're going to tear you a new asshole!"

"Come let us go and give them this new asshole.. In writing." they skipped off in the direction they came in

"Almost got it, and done!" the metal door clanged on Fox's side of the room. Whitefur stepped inside and saw Fox bloodied and bruised with cuts across his face and arms.

"You look terrible what did they do to you?" Whitefur gasped in the horror as Tyronos joined him.

"Come on we gotta carry him out of here. Here pick him up on the one side. I got the other." He did as he was told and they carried him out of his prison cell. They looked down both sides of the hallway they were in. No one was there just them.

"Alright let's make like a baby and head out." Wombo said as he lead the way back to the stationwagon.

They hid from many groups of guards just passing by talking about how their lord is a genius. But the guards didn't look so bright so they didn't think there was much to worry about.

"Santa.. We must go for Santa.." Fox mumbled weakly, they sat him down and leaned against the wall

"Santa? Is he here?" Whitefur asked

"I remember seeing him.. Somewhere.. He.." Fox's head then rolled to his shoulders, Whitefur checked his pulse.

"My god..."

"IS HE DEAD?" Tyronos gasped

"No.. He's just really tired."

Tyronos smacked his forehead "Well let's get Santa. Wombo can you take him back to the stationwagon? He'll be safe there."

He nodded and took Fox picking him up and putting him over his shoulder and carrying him off.

"Come on let's go find Santa." they found another directory and scanned it. They saw where they were and found out where the fat man was being held.. In cell block.. Sixty hundred and sixty-six..

"The number of the beast.." Whitefur mumbled

"Come on let's go get him.." They ran down the hallway trying to find where Santa was being held up. They found numerous guards but killed them with so much ease that it wasn't even funny.. To anyone.. So don't laugh at that.. Because dying isn't funny.. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

"How close are we?"

Tyronos checked his wrist which was like a Pipboy and able to download the map of the entire ship. "He should be down this hallway."

Whitefur stopped running and Tyronos was a little bit up ahead of him but noticed what Whitefur was staring at.

"Hello boys.. Care to.. Play a game?" the reptile hissed. He was green with random splotches of yellow.

He looked a little big and would definitely keep them occupied while the other guards would be able to trap them and kill them for sure.

Tyronos stepped up challengingly "What kind of game?"

The reptile threw back his head and laughed "What's so funny?" Whitefur exclaimed

"We'll play a game of.. ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!"

Whitefur and Tyronos looked back at each other and nodded. "We'll play your game.. Best two out of three!"

"But of course.. If you guys win you get the fat man.." he said cockily

"What do you get if you win?" Whitefur asked

"Ha! You get to suck my cock and he has to jerk off to it."

"WHOA! DUDE! THAT IS FUCKED UP!"

"If you won't do it then I guess I'll just have to.." 

"Fine.. We'll do it.."

Whitefur stepped up to the challenge and put out his hand in the standard Rock Paper Scissor formation as did the lizard.

"Ready..?"

"Yeah let's get this done with.."

"Alright.. Go!"

Whitefur chose rock.. As did the Lizard

"This is going to get intense.." Whitefur said to himself

"You have no idea.." the lizard smiled positive that he was going to win.

Whitefur picked scissors.. The lizard chose rock

"Damn it.."

The lizard chose paper.. Whitefur chose paper as well

They went at it again..

The lizard chose rock.. Whitefur chose paper

"Yes.."

The lizard chose scissor.. As did Whitefur

Whitefur chose rock.. As did the lizard

"FUCK YOU LOSE ALREADY!"

"Whitefur calm down I believe in you." Tyronos said trying to calm his friends nerves

"... Alright.. I got this.."

Whitefur shook out his worries and focused he looked deep within himself and found what he was looking for.. That passion to not have to suck a other dude's dick.. It was strong he knew he couldn't be defeated.

"Are you ready to lose whitey?"

"You.. Wish.."

They smacked their hands three times. Whitefur chose scissors... The lizard chose rock..

"NO GOD DAMN IT!"

"WHAT THE FUCK? I SAID I BELIEVED IN YOU!"

"Get on your knees bitch.."

Whitefur slowly got to his knees while the lizard whipped out his what it looked like.. A.. My god.. A thirteen inch penis.. Which started to say hello.

"Why? Why God?"

"This author is totally fucked up in the head!"

"Now I want you to do this of your own accord.. Take your time.." Whitefur looked at it.. It was staring right at him..

Then an idea popped into his head. He tackled the lizard who was caught by suprise by the hidden blades lodged into his eyes and ultimately making their way through his brain and out the other end.

"DUDE! YOU JUST KILLED HIM!"

Whitefur got up of the lizard who was still erect "Whatever I was not going to blow some sick ass bastard. Especially for the entertainment of others. That was not funny."

"Whatever let's just Santa and get the fuck out of here." They opened up the door but.. It was empty

"What? Why the fuck is Santa not here?"

They heard a dying laugh it was the lizard "They took him to another planet.. When that Fox idiot came.. They decided someone else would try to rescue him and Santa.. So they moved him.." He took in a deep breath of air

"Moved him where? Speak and I will make your death an easy one.."

"Venom.." the lizard then gave out the last air that was in his lungs and died. Tyronos kicked his head snapping his neck

"Fucking asshole! I swear to god if you are wrong I will fuck your shit up in hell."

"Come on.. Let's go.. We need to find Santa." Whitefur patted Tyronos on the back. "I wonder how Wombo is doing with Fox."

"Shit.. I totally forgot about them.."

"Call him on his comm."

Tyronos hit up his wrist-comm and found Wombo's number then called it.. It answered immediately to show a picture of him sitting in the back of the stationwagon with tears welled up in his eyes and him yelling

"TAKE THAT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! HOW DARE YOU KILL ! YOU BASTARDS YOU WILL PAY! MUHAHAHAHAHA! NOW YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING TO DIE FOR! HA! HOW DO YOU LIKE LAMB OF GOD BITCHES?"

He ended the call "I think they're fine.."

"Let's go.."

They saw Wombo standing outside of the stationwagon leaned up against the driver's door. "Hey guys what took you so long?"

"Wombo.. Why are there so many piles of dead people over here?" Tyronos pointed to a pile that nearly reached the ceiling.

"Uh... No reason just.. THEY HAD TO PAY! YOU SAW WHAT THEY DID!" He broke down crying and put his hands into his face. "Why him? He was so innocent. Why did he have to die?" Whitefur hugged him trying to make him feel better.

"Come on Tyronos take the wheel we need to go quickly." He threw him the keys that he was able to dig from Wombo's pockets. He moved Wombo in the back with Fox who lay there unconscious.

"Come on you know where Venom is right?"

"Yeah it's the planet that sucks asshole."

"Yeah that's the one.." Tyronos started the stationwagon and flew out of the ship. Whitefur looked back praying to God that it wouldn't follow them.

What he didn't expect that it would blow up. "DUDE WHAT THE HELL? WOMBO DID YOU.."

He looked at Wombo who said to himself "Told you sons of bitches would pay.." Whitefur wasn't even surprised

"Punch it.."

They went into hyperspace and went to Venom to go save Santa

**HA! Cliffhanger.. Until tomorrow.. Do you think you can hold on until then? If not then kill yourself now... You are not fit to survive in the world without a little bit of patience. Seriously I waited for Halo Reach.. Wasn't that big of a deal.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I love Metallica**

**

* * *

**

"Sir.. Why did you abandon the ship?"

"SO I COULD STOP THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS FROM SAVING SANTA AND THEREFORE SAVING CHRISTMAS! THEY WILL NEVER GET PAST MY PURE AWESOMENESS! I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE!"

"Yes sir.. But did you notice that the ship is destroyed?"

"WHAT?"

"Look behind you sir."

"FUCK! THOSE BASTARDS! DO THEY HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT SHIT COSTS THESE DAYS! DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE GAS PRICES!"

"Okay sir.."

"WELL THE FUCKING GAS IS LIKE FIVE DOLLARS A FUCKING GALLON!"

_'Fuck.. My.. Life.."_

_

* * *

_

"Fox you okay back there?" Tyronos looked at him through the rear-view mirror he was out cold he wouldn't be that much help with them.

"I don't think he is going to be able to talk. If we could pry his mind open and talk to him through that way we would be able to better understand where Santa is." Whitefur suggested "But how would we do that?"

They were all deep in thought then Wombo spoke "WE CAN CUT HIM OPEN! THE INFO WILL LEAK RIGHT OUT!"

They looked at him weird "Dude why are you in all caps?"

"I AM?"

"Yeah.."

"OH SHIT LET ME CHANGE THAT..."

They waited a moment "Well?" They both said at the same time

"Well what?"

They shook their heads "Never mind." Tyronos said

"Whatever you guys are lame."

"We aren't going to cut him open.. That's just idiotic." Whitefur said shooting down his idea

"Your mom is idiotic." Wombo retorted

He ignored him and went back into his thoughts. _'How can we get into his mind? We can't wait for him to get better. Santa will be dead or worse.. Dead and covered in some random dude's semen. Wait.. What if.. Of course..'_

Whitefur turned to Tyronos "Dude you remember where StarWolf is right?"

"Yeah, but that isn't important right now. We need to go find Santa. It'll be a snowball's chance in hell to find Santa without Fox but whatever. We've gotten through worse. Remember that one night?"

"I do remember that night." They were of course talking about that one night.. You should've been there. "But that isn't important right now. Just go there trust me."

"Fine but I'm not helping you if they decide to attack you."

"Good enough."

"Why are we even going there?"

"Krystal.."

"KRYSTAL? THEY HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN A FEW YEARS NOW! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THEY'LL TALK NOW?"

"Wombo turn off your fucking cap lock key seriously."

"Oops Sorry."

Whitefur went back to explaining "She's a telepath. She is the only one will be able to help at this point." Tyronos knew it to be true.

"Fine but we can't have those three other idiots around Fox when he is most vulnerable." Tyronos said

Whitefur nodded "Of course but we need to go now or we'll never find Santa.." he paused and sighed "This is going to be awkward as shit.."

"Yeah.. It will be.. Shit.." Tyronos turned around and went to StarWolf's "secret" base

**Very short chapter yes I know don't bitch me out about because I will punch you right in the mouth. I wanted to get this out because the next chapter is going to be longer. Once again sorry for it being extremely short.**

**Some of you may have noticed that originally this chapter made absolutely no sense. It's because I accidentally put the eighth chapter from my other story in this one. Woops! Facepalm it! So let's pray to god I got it right this time  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**So yeah Epic Fail of an eighth chapter but hopefully this one makes up for it. I can only hope. I feel like I'm really close to the end. This one is probably going to be more serious than the previous chapter. It's really hard trying to come up with new material every day. I do my darndest!**

He looked around his hideout. As he suspected his bum cohorts were taking naps and being useless as usual. "WAKE UP YOU DOUCHEBAGS!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. They didn't even stir. "So it's going to be that way.. Alright.. I can handle this.." he went into his room and came back with Louisvillefuckingslugger. He looked at it and all of it's glory. He stood by his lizard for lack of a better word companion and swung it right into his gut.

The lizard doubled over and fell on the ground all air left out of his gut. In between breaths he muttered "Why.. Did you.. Do that.. You son of a-" He then puked all of the contents from his stomach getting it all over his hands and the new shag carpeting.

The lupine carrying the Louisvillefuckingslugger then went to his other bum cohort. He hated this guy the most and would enjoy hitting him. He slammed it right on his head. Amazingly he didn't get up.. But then again there was an open cut from where Wolf hit him. He put his finger in front of his nose and he didn't feel a warm breath. He just killed Panther.. Whatever.

The alarm went off signaling that there were intruders. "Great just what I need.."

They left the stationwagon when Tyronos said "Are they even here?" Whitefur looked around there was one Wolfen.

"I'm not sure but I think they are extremely broke and I wouldn't be surprised if that was there only ship." Whitefur said

Wombo laughed "Ha! Failure."

"Epic.."

They searched around the hangar. There was a loud blaring noise which made no sense. Not like there was much to defend. Seriously when is the last time they worked for a job? It was tough to get by but for a mercernary group like StarWolf you figure they would be able to do something a little bit more sinister than being annoying to StarFox. Seriously didn't they have better things to do? Like.. Nothing? Anyway there wasn't much there except empty space.. and the Wolfen but that thing was in shambles.. Like honestly the fucking thing was coming apart. Seriously this was a sad excuse of a base now. God where did they go?

"Who dares enters the lair of StarWolf?" the voice was familiar it tried to threaten the three but they weren't having it.

"WE DARE YOU LITTLE BITCH COME OUT NOW! WE'LL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP!"

"God damn it Wombo what did I say about your cap lock key?" Whitefur and Tyronos both turned around and looked at him extremely annoyed

"It's sticky.." he said softly

"Well if it isn't Tweedle dumb." Wolf said pointing out Tyronos "Tweedle dumber." pointing out Whitefur "And of course how could we forget Tweedle Dumbass." pointing out Wombo

"Save it Wolf we came here on business." Tyronos spat

"Business? What kind of business.." he came closer but still cautious

"We're here to talk to Krystal." Whitefur said trying to ease the tension

"Why?" The lupine ensued. It wasn't everyday that three dead sexy Jedi Ninja Assassins came to your "Secret" base.

They were hesitant to tell him. "... We're here to save Santa.." Whitefur let out

He looked at them in wide eyed amazement "You can't be serious.."

"We are serious now where is Krystal?" Wolf started laughing his ass off "What's so funny?"

Nearly dying of laughter he began to stand back up leaning on his knees for support. "You idiots know that... Ha.. Santa.. Doesn't.. PAHAHA! Doesn't.. Doesn't Exist right?"

"He does exist. The Russians said so.." Wombo said in an attempt to keep it serious but since when does Wombo ever help in making things serious?

"Ok.. Assume Santa is real... That still doesn't explain why you need Krystal." They knew they couldn't keep it a secret anymore.

"Because... Well we need her help entering... Fox's mind.." Wolf's ears perked up

"Excuse me.. You mean.. Fox McCloud is in my base?" Wolf asked slightly excited

"I wouldn't really call it a base.."

"Fuck you times are tough."

"Well we've been pulling through with jobs at the C.I.A or whatever lame ass job the author decided to have us do instead of doing some cool ass shit you know where we're like doing stuff.. That would be cool."

An awkward silence filled the room "Is he always this retarded?"

"You should see him when he's drunk."

"No.. So.. Where is the little pup?"

"If you so much as move towards him we will kill you.. Where is Krystal we came for her and her only. She is the only one who can help us." Tyronos said

They stared into each other's eyes "Fine.. I'll go get her.." and he left them to their thoughts

_'What if I really am retarded? Does that mean anyone who I've ever had sex with is retarded? I'm scared!'_

_'Why did I have to do this? I swear to god if I ever get my hands on the person who let me be paired up with these two morons in this ridiculous plot just what the fuck is that shit? I need a lawyer.'_

_'Did my name really have to be named after my creator? Honestly why does it have to describe what I look like? I get it! It's white! Seriously.. Well even Wombo's creator isn't that creative at names.. So maybe we're all just fucked on the whole name thing.. Shit!'_

Wolf entered with Krystal not far behind. She avoided their gazes and stared at the floor. Tyronos decided to break the painful silence between the two groups.

"Krystal.. We need you to... Reach into.." He couldn't seem to speak his name but she already knew who it was about. She plucked it from his mind and continued.

"I know.. But I need to know why." She looked them right in the faces each of them shied away.

Whitefur in a quiet voice said "We need you to enter his mind.. So that we can learn the location of Santa.." he looked at her to see her reaction which he thought would be ridicule but it wasn't she looked really calm and it seemed she accepted what she was asked to do.

"Where is he?" She asked really quiet

"He's in the back.." She nodded and entered the back of the stationwagon.

She noticed Fox lying there. She studied him and he had dried blood across his muzzle, his mouth slightly opened his breathing heavy. He needed medical attention. She would try and make this quick. She lightly grasped his hand and delved into his mind.

It was pure white she looked around and saw him standing behind her. She started to slowly walk towards him but stopped giving them five feet of space. He broke the silence "Hey.. Didn't expect you to come here."

She bit back the urge to explode her feelings onto him "I know this isn't the best place to meet but I was sent here by-"

"So you didn't come to just talk?"

"You know I'm with StarWolf right?"

"Doesn't mean we can't catch up.."

"Fox that was a while ago.."

"There isn't a moment that I regret what I said to you."

"Fox I-"

"As soon as you left I was heartbroken. Damn me for a fool Krystal. I was too scared." He turned his side towards her trying to hide the tears starting to well up in his eyes "I didn't want to lose you. But I did anyway. For my selfish reasons of keeping you safe you went away and it was all my fault."

"Fox you don't think I wasn't heartbroken? I was accepted into a family that I haven't had in years. I had no one. I was trapped in that crystal prison until you came and freed me." He looked back into her beautiful blue eyes emotions ran through him "I have never felt the feelings that I feel for you for anyone else and I will no longer feel those strong emotions for anyone as long as I live. The moments we shared were shit on when you asked me to leave. I didn't know what to do. I had nothing. I reluctantly went to them. I didn't want to but that was my only option. I knew they would take me in to spite you. I didn't want that for us. I didn't want to make you think I did it for revenge I would never want to hurt you that way.. I.."

He saw she was pouring her heart out tears were falling down her cheek. She bit her hand and he did something he didn't think he would be able to do for the rest of his life. He grabbed her and stood tall over her. She looked up at him gazing slowly going in for a kiss. He returned it and it was beautiful around them fireworks flew while birds were singing their beautiful songs of love and forgiveness. They poured every single emotion that they held in for the time that they were away. Her tongue and his tongue met each other and were playfully fighting for dominance but neither one of them cared. They were in love with each other and they didn't care who the fuck knew not even the people of who were possibly reading their story. The whole universe and more could've known they would not care a bit.

They stood there locking lips and holding each other's hands for as long as time could keep tick tick tocking. It would be a while before Krystal a little saddened that she had to but remembered that there was a different reason for her to be here instead of get lost in Fox's eyes.

"Krystal.. I love you.. I want to be with you for the rest of my days." He realized how much of a fucking idiot he was to even think that she was incapable of protecting herself or whatever stupid reason he let her escape his life.

"I love you too Fox." she watched him get down on one knee and pull something from his pocket.. No way.. Is he?

"Krystal would you please marry me?" he held out a ring with a nice looking diamond on top of it. Not too big but not too small either. Her emotions fluttered she didn't know what to think or what to say. "Please Krystal say yes." He looked at her with those puppy dog eyes and she remembered all of why she loved him.

"Yes Fox.. Fuck yes I will marry you." She tackled him to the ground and they played with each other like they were little kits. It was a good thirty minutes before she realized once again why she had came. "Fox I need to ask you.. Where is Santa?"

He sat up "He is on Venom my love" He started to nibble on her ear playfully "Him and are both there in a big warehouse on the north side of Venom marked with an even bigger neon sign saying 'Here is the fat bastard.'"

He didn't stop touching her the way she liked before he let her go not anywhere on her No-No spots because that would seem a little fast. They would have to wait until the next chapter possibly for that to escalate into hardcore sex or something.

"I'll see you on the other side Fox.." She really didn't want to leave but the three vulpines waiting for this information would become impatient and break her concentration if she stayed too long.

"I love you Krystal."

"I love you too Fox." They gave each other a goodbye kiss each left with tears welling up in their eyes.

She saw looked at his face and it was different.. It had a smile on it which made her smile she kissed his forehead and left the stationwagon.

They noticed her leave the stationwagon and approached her "So did you get it.." She was still of in her own little world with Fox it wasn't until she noticed the three vulpines nearly yelling that she awoke from her fantasy

"Yeah.. I got it.." She said quietly half in reality and half with Fox

"Well where is he?" Tyronos prodded

"He's in a warehouse on the north side of Venom marked with a big neon sign that says 'Here is the fat bastard.'" The three vulpines smacked their foreheads.

"Well come on guys let's go.. Thank you very much Krystal." They started to enter the stationwagon but she yelled out to them

"Hey!" they looked back to see her running towards them "I want to come with."

"Are you sure?" Whitefur asked a little confused

"Yeah I hate it here that and I want to help even more." she confessed

They all looked at each other. "Hop in the back and fasten your seatbelt. Wombo is a crazy driver."

She smiled and entered along with the three vulpines. Tyronos said to Wombo "Punch it.."

"With pleasure.." and they left leaving Wolf in the dust speeding towards the planet Venom and to save Santa and ultimately christmas

"... Fuck this sucks this is my whole part in this stupid story? Fuck.." Wolf complained to himself "GOD DAMN IT!"

**There hopefully that made up for chapter eight. I probably could've put them together but I wanted you guys to suffer a little sorry! NOT! Later**


	10. Chapter 10

**Let's get right into it!**

"Now you're going to tell us what you know or we'll be forced to do this until you talk."

"I don't know nothing. I swear upon Rudolph's Herpes ridden nose!"

"Shutup!" He felt a sharp jab to his stomach and then a butt of a gun to his face "NOW TELL US WHAT WE WANT!"

"I... I.."

"YES?"

"I don't know nothing..."

"FUCK!"

* * *

"Where is this sign? I don't see it." Wombo said

"Well maybe if you put the defroster on the windshield wouldn't be covered in frost!" Tyronos yelled

"Oh.. Shit.." Wombo then put on the defroster it immediately taking away anything that previously obscured his vision.

"Hey Wombo I think I found it. Pull over." He saw where Krystal was pointing at and it was definitely it. There was the big neon sign saying "Here is the fat bastard"

"Why do they have to call him that? Honestly its what makes him an approachable figure. Don't diss on Santa being fat seriously.." Whitefur asked a little saddened that they would treat someone so pure as Santa that way.

"Hey Wombo don't land close to it. Just park the stationwagon half a mile from it. They may suspect us." Tyronos said and Wombo nodded pulling the car over in a mall parking lot. They looked around them various people would give them dirty looks and they weren't even out of the car.

"So what are we going to do about Fox? They hate him here. This is probably the worst spot for him to be in alone." Whitefur said

Without any hesitation "I'll stay with him."

"You sure Krystal?"

She looked at Fox's face and answered "I'm positive."

"Alright guys let's go. Be careful."

"I will.."

They left the stationwagon and it was slightly cold outside and slight breeze here and there. "Come on guys lets hurry up and do this. If we don't get caught it should make for a good five hundred word finish. If we don't it could become a three thousand word chapter and an epic finish. So let's hope it is the first option because I am sick of this shit."

"Agreed so don't fuck this up...Wombo!"

"What? I haven't fucked anything up yet!"

"Yeah that's right! You haven't yet. So let's keep that up."

"You're a dick you know that Tyronos?"

"Yeah. So let's go!" They then went to where the bright lights burning off of the neon sign was coming from. Along the way there were more and more people who were extremely thuggish people. A few homeless people came up to them and asked them for change. The homeless began following them because they knew that our three handsome vulpines were off-worlders.

An old homeless person who would inevitably die came up and asked "Spare some change?"

Wombo didn't know what to do "I'm sorry I don't have any change." The old man didn't stop

"Spare some change?"

"I don't have any change."

The old man pulled out a knife "Spare some change." This time he wasn't asking but demanded it. Wombo looked at Whitefur and Tyronos for help but they only suggested killing him. He thought of something else.

"Hey guys! Look over there!" He yelled that to Tyronos and Whitefur who looked at what he pointed at

"RUN!" he yelled that to the hobo who ran the other way

"How did you do that?" Tyronos asked

"Do what?"

"That. How did you just fool us and that old hobo?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm just that awesome.."

"Sure you are. Come on let's go it's even closer. We should be there in a minute or two." They walked into the downtown area even though it seemed that this whole place was a downtown area. Like imagine downtown L.A. but worse like ten times worse it was pretty bad. They went towards the dock area which is where the neon sign's glow was coming from. They walked down the dock which at the end was the warehouse the sign nearly blinding them. Why they would have that sign there is beyond any of us at this point. Tyronos saw a group of henchmen they were walking in and entered a code the doors opening when they finished with the code.

"Shit guys! We're going to need a code to get in." Tyronos said

"Fuck.. Well what are we going to do?" Whitefur asked who felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and saw three komodo dragons standing over him and his friends they were snickering to themselves and one of them was drooling he was snickering so much "Yeah can we help you?"

The middle one obviously the leader stood up to Whitefur and got in his face "Yeah you can.."

"Thanks again for giving us a push these roads are terrible."

"Yeah no problem. Have a great day!" They waved as the komodo dragons left in their Cadillac driving down the pot hole filled road.

"They were nice weren't they?" Tyronos asked

"Yeah.. His breath smells though.." Whitefur said

They walked up to the door and stood in front of the panel which had the numbers zero through nine on it and a reset button. From they were able to gather it was a four digit code they needed to enter. "Well what could it be guys? My guess is five thousand two hundred and eighty."

Tyronos motioned for him to put it in his guess. As he put it in a group of mercenaries came towards them. They didn't look so friendly. Once again the leader of this group a raccoon yelled at Whitefur. "Hey you pussy white faggot what are you doing here?" everyone else in his group laughed

Whitefur turned around "I don't know.. I could ask you the same thing."

"What was that?"

"You heard me or maybe you need to get the cocks out of your ears." Wombo and Tyronos chuckled which caused the raccoon to swing at Whitefur. He was too slow though and Whitefur grabbed his fist and was able to snap his arm causing the bone to come out of his arm.

**Somewhere on Corneria**

"I hope nothing happens to spoil this fancy dinner party." Everyone else nodded. The music was soothing to hear. Everyone was having such a good time until..

"!" Everyone turned their heads towards the planet Venom.

"Why did this fancy dinner party have to be ruined?"

**Back on Venom**

"UUUUCCCCKK!" the raccoon screamed and crying from what pain that was brought on by a simple twist of the arms.

"You'll pay for that!" One of the now whimpering raccoon's men shouted and ran at Whitefur with a knife but stopped dead in his tracks to feel something in his neck. He felt around to where the pain was coming from to feel a sharp knife which cut through his neck and the tip of the knife was visible from the back of his neck.

"Anyone else stupid enough to try it?" Whitefur challenged

With there now being a pile of five bodies on top of each other all due to Whitefur's massive skill. It only left one question. What to do with this guy..

"You!" Tyronos pointed at the still whimpering and crying raccoon who didn't move from his spot "Do you know the code?" the raccoon either ignored him or didn't hear him. Tyronos shook him causing the raccoon more pain and ultimately screaming like a little girl because Whitefur was in Beast mode and is always in Beast mode. There is not a switch for his Beast mode. He came out his mother's vagina having sex with a very erotic looking woman who.. Damn.. Dat ass..

Anyway the raccoon was able to gather his thoughts and produce a sentence that went like "What code?"

"DON'T FUCK WITH ME! What is the code!" Tyronos shouted, the raccoon refused to speak and give him what he wanted. Tyronos grabbed his unbroken arm and threatened to break this one as well.

The raccoon spat "Do it... It will bring you nothing.."

"We'll see.." he then cracked it with a loud snap and then came an even louder scream from the tortured raccoon.

**In your mom's room**

"Oh god! Tyler you're so good at this! OH MY GOD! HOW ARE ABLE TO DO THAT?"

"Years of practice ma'am."

"!111!1one!1"

"What was that?"

"I don't know.. But can you open your legs you're crushing my neck."

"Oh sorry Tyler."

**Back on Venom**

"IIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!" the raccoon whimpered even louder and was crying tears making a puddle of eye rain.

"Are you going to tell us what we want to know or what?"

"Please no more.. I don't know the code! I don't even know what you're talking about? A code to what?" he was going hysterical

"Guys maybe he knows nothing.."

"."

"See I don't even think he can form words anymore." as they watched him start drooling.

"Well what should we do with him?"

"SDLFKJWEOPITHSDLKFJS:LTKHWPOEIJFSPJDKFL:WETOPIHSDFROFLCOPTER!"

"Let's just leave him.."

"No we can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's wrong.. It's wrong!"

"Well then what would you suggest?" they saw him get up on his own and just walk into the water. They ran over to where he fell into and noticed that bubbles were coming up.. Soon the bubbles stopped coming up.. Then there was a pool of blood probably more than what should have come from his two broken arms.

"Guys what was that?" Wombo asked

"I have no clue but he's gotta be dead now.." Tyronos said

"Nothing we can do for him now.." Whitefur commented

"Well can't we like do a speech for him?" Wombo suggested

"What are you talking about?"

"Well you know how people when they're at a funeral that they usually say a few words before they bury the dead?" They nodded their heads "Well can't we do that for him?"

Whitefur and Tyronos looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders "Sure but you gotta do it."

"Fine.. Where do I start.. Ah yes.." They let their heads hang low as a sign of subtlety. "He was a.. Bit of a dumbass he came up to Whitefur with an intention of probably stealing his lunch money but ended up getting both of arms snapped and the bones sticking out. I didn't know him for long but he was definitely an idiot and I'm surprised he made it this long.. Amen."

"Amen." They then looked back at warehouse. "How are we going to get in?" Tyronos saw a ladder on the side and then said "Let's climb. See there is a ladder right there."

"Huh.. Isn't that convenient?" They rushed towards the ladder and started climbing while dodging barrels being thrown at them by a big huge ape with a tie that had the initials "D.K." they continued dodging barrels from him and ended up making it to the top.

"Guys what are we going to do about this fucking ape?" Tyronos asked

"Yeah he's totally going to blow our cover." Whitefur said

"Let's fucking murder his ass!" Wombo said charging him with his hidden blade.

The ape beat his chest and yelled "Let's go bitch!" he then charged at Wombo who slid under him stabbing him in the gooch. "HOW DARE YOU! THAT FUCKING HURTS!"

"I bet it does." Wombo laughed

"Should we just sit this out or should we help him?" Whitefur asked

"He'll be fine." Tyronos answered

"Alright but if he dies his author is going to pissed at us."

"Whatever he'd just resurrect him in some stupid way."

"Probably. I wish we had some popcorn." then all of a sudden popcorn appeared out of nowhere on Whitefur's lap "Awesome.." He tossed a couple in his mouth and spit it out "What the? No salt?" then out of nowhere a salt shaker appeared "Thank you.."

"Hey give me some of that." Whitefur then handed him the now salted popcorn "Holy shit this is some good popcorn." They both nodded and continued to watch the ape and Wombo kill each other.

"LET GO OF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!"

"NEVER!"

"Look there are two idiots who don't know how to turn off their cap lock key."

He then tossed Wombo towards the edge of the building but being incredibly quick he was able to grab on to the ledge and hold on. He heard the grunts of this mysterious ape coming towards him.

"Where are you? You little faggot?" the ape looked over the edge and saw nothing but the ground below "Where did he go?" he felt a piercing in his back and turned his head to see the vulpine with a look of Ha-Bitch-I-Just-Pwned-Your-Noob-Ass-Go-Back-To-The-Eighties-Where-You-Should-Have-Died. He then felt sorrow and was pushed off the edge. Wombo watched him fall and a look of confusion was riddled on his face. He hit the ground and burst into flames. A heart then flew up from where the ape was and disappeared. Wombo then turned his head and saw Whitefur and Tyronos eating popcorn.

"So you decided to get popcorn and leave the giant ape to me..."

"You got him. You saw him burst into flames. He's totally annihilated." Tyronos said trying to convince him that it was nothing.

"Yeah I don't see the big deal." Whitefur said. Wombo shook his head.

"Well let's see if we can get in through the roof at least." he walked past them and they followed him still nomming on the popcorn. They reached the top of the roof which was made of glass. The inside was obviously dirty just because of the glass being extremely hard to see through. What they were able to make out was a man screaming in pain obviously being tortured.

"Tell us what we want to know old man!"

"I can't! It's secret!"

"Then taste my wrath of lightning." another shrill scream could be heard. "When will you learn old man? Don't feed us bullshit!"

"Guys I think that is Santa down there." Wombo said quietly

"What makes you say that?" Tyronos asked

"HO HO HO MY BALLS!"

"That's him.."

"Well let's go get him. Remember be sneaky it has to be about five hundred words.. Wait.. FUCK! We're at like two five hundred and five words and counting!"

"Whatever let's just go!"

They found one of the panels of the window roof and were able to slide it open just a little bit so that not a whole bunch of light would come in and expose them and possibly die which would be a bad way to end this story. They slowly made their way down to the ground floor without alerting anybody possibly in the warehouse. They saw Santa tortured and alone.

"I'll go get him.. Guys watch my back." Tyronos walked up towards Santa cautiously with Wombo and Whitefur looking around searching for anybody watching them.

"Santa?"

"I SAID I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" Santa nearly jumped out his seat when Tyronos called out to him

"SHHH! Santa I'm here to rescue you!"

"What?" Santa squinted at Tyronos. "Thank you lad. They've been torturing me.. Please we need to leave quickly."

"Alright calm down. I can't unhook these straps when you push up against them." Santa then relaxed himself and watched Tyronos unhook him. Santa stood as soon Tyronos was done and hugged him picking the vulpine off the ground and spinning him around squeezing the breath out of him nearly suffocating him before he was put back on the ground.

"Thank you me boy. How can I ever repay you?"

Gasping for breath he spat out "Don't... Ever.. Do that again.."

"Good enough for me! HO HO HO!" He slapped Tyronos on the back and he fell to the ground. Tyronos recovered with the help of Wombo and Whitefur.

"Dude you alright?" Wombo asked

"He hits hard.. Ow.."

"Oh shutup!" Wombo said and smacked him in the same spot Santa hit him and Tyronos once again collapsed on his face.

"DON'T FUCKING DO THAT!"

"Guys! Shut up! We found Santa now let's get the fuck out of here before we possibly get into trouble. I don't know about you but I think a action part in this thing would be pretty lame."

"Well sucks for you then doesn't it?" A voice echoed throughout the warehouse. It came in no particular direction but all around and surrounded them.

"What the hell?" Wombo questioned "Who is that?"

"Yeah the fucking voice is annoying as all hell.. Like extremely whiny and nasally just ugh.. I wanna punch whoever's voice it is." Whitefur said and Tyronos nodding in agreement.

"FUCK YOU! MY VOICE IS NOT WHINY!"

"See there it is again. Hey dude if you could avoid talking that would be great."

"SUCK MY NADS! GET THEM!"

"Now he's asking for sexual favors.. What the fuck?"

"GET THEM NOW!"

Out of nowhere three various people jumped down and were ready to kick some ass. They were dressed in ninja outfits covering their faces. They were completely covered in one solid color for each of them. The one on the left was in gray, the one in the middle was in white, the one on the right was in a pure black. The one white one challenged Whitefur to fight by taunting in a surprisingly feminine voice for a man "Come on big boy let's go."

Whitefur shrugged his shoulders and pulled out two lightsabers igniting both of them to reveal a light purple on both blades. His opponent pulled out two lightsabers as well which were a light purple too.

_'Dude this is a little weird.. Whatever..' _Whitefur thought to himself. His challenger then ran off to the side to leave Tyronos and Wombo to fight the other two.

Whitefur soon followed and not a second after the one in the gray called Tyronos' bitch ass out in a feminine voice similar to that of the one in white "Come on you gonna keep staring at me or we gonna fight?" Tyronos was taken aback by what he said. _'No one talks to me like that except my mom.. God rest her soul.' _the man across him pulled out a dual lightsaber which was yellow.. Just like his.. _'Dude this is fucking weird as shit..' _

"Come on pussy!" his challenger yelled running the opposite way that Whitefur and his enemy went. Tyronos followed a little confused but confident.

Wombo watched both Whitefur and Tyronos fighting and couldn't tell if they were winning or losing. But he had to focus on what was in front of him. He studied his opponent.. He had very.. Slender curves and nice legs, the most green eyes he ever saw which winked at him. _'Either he is gay and is turned on by me.. or..' _he looked down to the chest area and saw balloons staring at him. _'We're fighting chicks.. How awesome is this?' _he walked toward her and she pulled out her lightsaber which was blue. JUST LIKE HIS! _'I think I'm in love.' _

"Hey." He said trying to start a conversation she gave him a weird look but responded anyway

"Hey.."

"So do you come here often?" he slowly made his way towards her taking a step a minute.

"Are you hitting on me?"

"No.. Not at all.. Actually yes I am.. I'm sorry if I'm being too forward but.." he put one foot forward

"But.. What?"

"You have the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen." He couldn't tell but she blushed under her mask.

"You're lying!" She shouted and charged him attacking him from up top in downward slash which he was able to defend against by quickly whipping out his lightsaber. They met in a sea of sparks which temporarily blinded him he looked away for a second pulling away she took this opportunity to swing at him with a slash towards his chest but came up too short. She growled in a fit of anger. He recovered not having his blade at the ready. She saw it as a sign of being weak and decided to end his pathetic life. She stabbed at him and he blocked it like it was nothing. She was becoming desperate and in a fury of swings she left herself wide open and regretted it because he came up to her and held her. She was now in his power and he could do anything. He could kill her and from what she experienced he would. She closed her eyes and waited for her inevitable death.. But it never came she opened her eyes and he was staring at her and he looked confused.

"I'm not going to hurt you.. My mom told me not to hurt women.."

"Well your mom probably didn't tell you that about women who were going to kill you!" She broke free of his grasp and swung at his head which he dodged.

"Please I don't want to hurt you."

She only responded with more swings and stabs which only whooshed by his limbs and sometimes cackled on his lightsaber. "Please stop. I want to help."

"Help with what?"

"I can tell you don't like what the whiny voice wants you to do. I know you don't plan on killing me."

"How do you know that? You don't even know my name!"

"Because your eyes tell it all."

She was in mid-swing when she stopped and stepped back and turned off her lightsaber. She looked at him completely entranced with how he was acting towards his attacker. She liked it, it made her feel.. Safe something she hasn't felt in a long time. But she still didn't know him and he still didn't know her. I felt so wrong but.. so right at the same time. She whistled which caused everyone else to stop what they were doing at pay attention to her. Her companions retreated to her side and attacked Wombo who was caught off guard and barely had any time to avoid being attacked by blocking a diagonal cut to his face. Whitefur and Tyronos took it upon themselves to attack his attackers. Amidst all the confusion a whiny voice interrupted.

"I KNEW YOU GUYS WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO IT!" Everyone froze where they were. The voice had revealed himself. He was an alligator with horrible cracked dry skin. A breath that reeked of onion and the stuff in your toenails. The most red eyes you've ever seen that just seemed to glare at everyone in the room.

"Get him away from me!" Santa yelled

"NOT SO FAST FAT MAN!" he pulled out a gun and shot Santa who fell down after yelling in pain.

"HEY DON'T FUCKING SHOOT SANTA!" Yelled the three vulpines

He pointed the gun at them and said "Or what?"

All of a sudden the warehouse's side blew up and revealed a flying stationwagon and a familiar voice was heard "Or this!"

"KRYSTAL!" Wombo shouted jumping up and down in glee

"God damn it Wombo what did I say about your.. Well it kinda works but just check that shit later."

The alligator cursed under his breath "I guess you guys win this time! But I'll be back!" He threw down a smokescreen and when the smoke disappeared he was gone along with it.

Wombo looked for the three dressed in ninja outfits but they too were gone. _'Damn it.. I didn't even get a name..' _

"Come on Wombo let's go!" Tyronos shouted snapping Wombo back in to reality "We need your help he isn't light come on!"

He rushed to help them with Santa who was lying on his stomach. "Is he dead?"

"No he's just sleeping. He's been through a lot. More than we did on that one night.. Remember that?" Man you should've been there that night was insane! "Krystal bring the stationwagon in closer. We can't throw him in there from down here."

"Right my bad!" Slowly but surely she landed the stationwagon on the ground in one piece. They opened up the trunk and heaved him in there throwing a blanket over him.

"Come on Wombo let's go we need to bring him back to the North Pole so he can return to full health and save Christmas." Tyronos said, Krystal threw him the keys which he caught with both of his hands.

They entered the stationwagon and heard Santa wheezing in the back. "Come on lets go he needs medical attention right away!" stressed Whitefur

"Alright I'm going!" Wombo turned the key in the ignition and took off wondering what would happened with the three ninja women..

* * *

"PATHETIC ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC!"

"What do you mean sir?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO I MEAN? THAT ONE IDIOT OBVIOUSLY HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU! YET YOU DIDN'T KILL HIM! HOW COULD YOU LET HIM TALK YOU INTO BELIEVING THAT SHIT?"

"..."

"EXACTLY! WATCH YOUR SHIT NEXT TIME!"

_'I'll find him.. Hopefully on better terms..' _she thought as her friends mindlessly took their yellings too not even phased by it seeing as this was like what the gazillionth time he's yelled at them. _'I didn't even get his name..'_

**So this update took longer than expected but hell I think it was well worth it! One or two more chapters after this. See ya soon! Oh and I swear to god if next year you guys think that I am going to write another Christmas story you're insane! One was enough for me! Have somebody else do it!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Long Live Metallica! Pray to god the Big Four comes to North America**

"How is Santa doing back there?" Wombo asked Whitefur looked back and saw Santa was in pretty bad shape.

"You need to hurry up Santa may not make it."

"I'm going as fast I can!"

"Give me a minute with him I've got some experience in field medicine and should be able to prolong his life." Tyronos said "Krystal come help me."

"Okay." She said and joined him in the back of the stationwagon to help Santa breath a little easier. Corneria was in sight and was coming closer ever so quickly.

"Alright guys he should be fi-" Wombo was interrupted when the stationwagon shook from a laser shot. "Who the fuck was that?"

"I can't let you do that Star Fox!" a familiar voice said to them.

"God damn it Wolf we don't have time for this." Tyronos shouted back

Wolf only responded with more shots "I will finally do something evil and will become the most dastardly mercenary ever! No one will ever stand in my way!"

"Uh.. We will." Whitefur commented

"You guys are fools! Your stationwagon is for pure flight there is no way that thing could ever stop me in a dogfight."

"Oh yeah?" Wombo questioned ready to prove the overconfident lupine wrong

"Yeah!" once again he hit the stationwagon

"It's game time Wolf.." Wombo did a U-Turn

"What the heck?"

"Yeah get ready to get your ass handed to you."

Wombo looked around trying to find Wolf but Wolf found him first. "Quit shooting the stationwagon faggot!"

"I will never! You will all die today!" Wolf kept on firing but was missing due to Wombo doing.. Barrel Rolls.. Fucking Peppy..

"I can't shake him!" he then thought of something "Everyone hold on!" everyone then braced for what Wombo was about to do. He stopped the stationwagon almost sending everyone out the windshield. Just as he had hoped Wolf passed him. Now it was Wombo's turn to enact revenge for ruining the stationwagon's beauty and possibly making a dent on the roof. You know how much of a pain in the ass to get fixed? He began gaining speed on the Wolfen and when he came into range he shot at him with the MGRs attached towards the front just above where the wheels were.

"How do you like that? Suck my fucking dick you son of a bi-"

"Wombo!" Whitefur yelled

"What?"

"Chill out on the swearing bro. Pace yourself."

"Fine!" Wombo kept firing at the Wolfen bringing it's shields down and eventually giving damage to the Wolfen itself.

"Hey! Truce! I don't need to die!" Wolf shouted praying for mercy.

"Fine! But if you come near us again with intentions to kill us you will so be dead." Wolf quickly left the scene whimpering and crying like a scared child. "Why does he even try? Its terrible."

"I don't know.. But let's hurry up Santa won't make it long without real medical attention. There isn't much we can do for him now." said Tyronos "He's growing colder hurry Wombo!"

"Fine! But if we get pulled over again I'm gonna be so pis-" then they heard sirens. Wombo looked at his rear-view mirror and saw the cops. "FUCK!"

"Please pull your stationwagon over or we will be forced to take unnecessary action."

"Where the fuck do we pull over? We're in space do they not know that?" Wombo asked

"Whatever just go to Corneria dude I'm guessing that's what they want you to do." Tyronos said

"Pull over now!"

Wombo pulled over in space and killed the engine fully stopped and waited for the police officer to come up to his window. He looked at his side-view mirror and this cop looked somewhat familiar the way he walked towards was very similar to.. Wait a minute.. How is he walking in space? This story gets dumber and dumber every single second. There was knock on his window. He looked to Tyronos who merely shrugged. He pulled down his window and amazingly they were all still fine.

"License and registration please." The cop ordered

"Yeah just gimme a sec.."

Wombo searched through his glove compartment and found his registration papers and handed them to the cop. "I need your license sir." he said as he looked through the registration. Wombo pulled out his SlipKnot wallet which had their signature 'S' on it and took out his license and handed it to the cop. He looked it over. "This doesn't look like you."

"I have Atkins disease." Wombo said

"Ah.. Me too.. Do you miss bread?"

"Not really.."

The cop leaned against the stationwagon "Is that pot I smell?"

"What? Who is lighting up in here?" He turned around and no one was smoking the marijuanna. "No one here is smoking pot sir."

"Weird.. I guess its just me. I smoked a like three bowls before I went to work.. Oh well. Alright you take it easy." He gave back the license and registration papers and patted the top of the stationwagon.

"Thanks officer take it easy."

"Oh wait before you go.." He pulled out a photo of a young child "Do you know who John Connor is?"

"Not again.." Everyone in the car except Fox and Santa started looking at each other and screamed at the top of their lungs. Wombo sped off with the cop still looking at them confused.

"Huh.. Fucking weirdos. Whatever no fur off my muzzle." he then returned to his car. He searched the back and found what he was looking for. "Hello have you missed me? I missed you." He then lit it up and smoked the contents and took it to the head. "Damn.. I am so high right now.. I have no idea what's going on."

"Why the fuck are there Terminator references? The only good one was the first one!" Whitefur yelled

"I don't know! But I swear to god I am not going to go through this shit ever again! I will bust a nut if there is another reference to the Terminator movies." Tyronos said

"Wait you mean there were other references to the Terminator series?" Krystal asked

"Yeah first we got pulled over and I kid you not same thing happened."

"Weird.."

They continued and entered the Cornerian atmosphere and continued their descent down towards the planet.

"Hey call the hospital tell them we're on our way and we've got Santa with us." Wombo said Tyronos then whipped out his phone and dialed in the number.

"It's ringing.." 

"Good.."

BRING!

BRING!

"Hello Cornerian Hospital this is Janice how can I help you?"

"Yeah hello my name is Tyronos and we're going to be bringing in Santa. He's in critical condition we're going to need someone out there waiting for him."

"Ok this is bullshit!"

"What?" Tyronos was completely confused

"What are they saying?" Whitefur asked

"That it's bullshit." He then turned his attention to Janice "What do you mean? I'm completely serious. We have Santa and he is could die if not treated within the next hour."

"We've gotten fifty calls about Santa being ready to die."

"We've also got Fox McCloud here who is also in a critical state! Please believe us!"

"Fox McCloud and Santa huh? Together.. Let me guess you're also in a stationwagon with Machine Gun Rockets.."

"YES WE ARE! Please! We need to get these two in to medical care as quickly as possible!"

There was a moment of silence between the two "Fine.. We'll have two people waiting in wheelchairs. You have five minutes."

"Thank you.." but she already hung up the phone on him. "What a total bitch.."

"What do you mean?" Wombo asked 

"She didn't believe me that we have Santa and Fox Motherfucking McCloud on board with us.."

"What? Why wouldn't she believe that?" Whitefur asked slightly outraged

"I have no clue!" Tyronos said throwing his hands up in the air "We've got like four minutes before they decide not to help us."

"We'll make it in time.." Wombo smiled a sinister smile that showed confidence and pride. "You guys know that I haven't showed you everything that this baby can do right?"

"There is more to this stationwagon then what we think?"

"Oh yeah.. Boosters.. On.." out of the back appeared rockets capable of producing speeds of over NINE THOUSAND! Miles per hour. "Everyone hold on to something preferably your lives." Wombo pulled out a pair of sunglasses and put them on his face. He then slammed on the accelerator pushing everyone back into their seats. Everyone's face started pulling back revealing their teeth due to the face that the g-force was so incredibly strong. The only one unaffected was Wombo who merely smiled. Buildings flashed by lights blurring together.

"Wombo how the fuck do you know where we're going?"

"Just call it.. I don't know.. I'm pretty sure we circled the planet five times already.. Make that six."

"WELL SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! WE WON'T MAKE IT TO THE HOSPITAL!"

"Here we are." Everyone then moved forward by the force of the stop. Thank god everyone had they their seatbelts on.. After recovering from the head splitting headache that everyone had from Wombo's driving. There was knock on the window Tyronos looked out and a brown squirrel was there with a wheelchair.

"Hey where is Santa?"

Tyronos shook his head trying to see straight. "He's in the back. Ow my head.."

"Alright where is Fox McCloud?"

"He's right there." Tyronos said pointing straight at him

"Alright thanks. Hey Tom get over here we're going to need a bigger wheelchair to haul Santa in."

Wombo opened the back revealing Santa who sounded like he was having trouble breathing and possibly staying conscious. "Alright on the count of three.. Seven.. Thirteen.. Twenty-Eight.. Three!" they pushed Santa into the wheelchair with little difficulty and got him safely inside. Whitefur carried Fox in over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and followed the doctors where they were taking Santa.

They went into the room number four hundred and nine. They set Santa down on one bed and hooked him up to various machines which told what state he was in and monitored his heart rate and what not. Whitefur set Fox down on the bed parallel to Santa's who was then taken care of just as well as Santa.

A nurse came up to them she was quite attractive "Please give us some time with them. Please wait outside we'll let you come in when we've done all that we can." They followed her request and went into the waiting room.

"Guys they'll be fine right?" Whitefur asked

"Yeah of course they will. It's Fox McCloud they wouldn't let him die here. The hero of the Lylat system. Plus Santa? The guy who spreads to joy to little kids all over the system? They'll be fine." Tyronos said trying to put Whitefur's mind to ease.

"I hope so.."

They waited for what seemed like hours hoping that they would pull through.. Krystal didn't pay much attention to the three vulpines but was still in listening range. She was thinking about what Fox said to her in his mind. She thought about a future with Fox.. And a future without him. She wanted to marry him.. She wanted to bear his children. But how would she tell him? She'd find a way.. Love always did finds it way. She just hoped it wouldn't stop with her and Fox. She soon fell asleep dreaming of her and Fox with a family. She smiled throughout the whole entire dream.

The same nurse who asked them to leave came out. They jumped to their feet hoping that whatever she was going to tell them was good"Well what's the news?"

"They are awake and would like to talk to you. Santa with you guys and would like to talk to her." She indicated Krystal who was still crashed on the chair.

"I'll wake her." Wombo said he went back to where Krystal was situated. "Come on Krystal Fox wants to talk to you." She stirred slowly waking up

"Hm?"

"Come on let's talk to Fox."

"Oh okay." She stretched and yawned then scratched her head.

They then followed the nurse to room 409 "Santa here are the young gentlemen you wanted to speak with."

"Thank you Samantha you may leave us be then."

She bowed and slipped past the three vulpines and blue vixen. "Come here boys I have something I wish to ask of you." They went to Santa's side while Krystal went to speak with Fox. "Guys as you know Christmas is in a few hours. The doctors tell me that I won't be able to fly and do my job before I recover and that if I try that there could possibly be no more Santa."

They gasped "Well what are you going to do about it? It just simply isn't Christmas without Santa!"

Santa raised his hand to silence them "That's why what I'm about to ask you is of the utmost importance. What would you young fellows say if I asked you to deliver the presents to the children of the Lylat?"

They stood there stunned "We.. Uh.." Whitefur stuttered

"We'd be honored to do this for you Santa!" Wombo exclaimed

"Good. Thank you boys so much! HO HO HO! I knew I could count on you guys." He paused then "I need you guys to go my place and check the list and grab the presents that you are supposed to give to the children. I owe you guys big time! Now hurry there isn't much time! Off with you!"

"Alright we'll hurry." Tyronos said

"Krystal do you want to go or do you want to stay with Fox?"

She poked her head out and said "I think I'll stay with these two keep an eye on them. You guys go now like Santa said there isn't much time!" She shooed them off and they left the hospital and headed for the North pole.

**Hey guys one more chapter coming up hope you like it. I would finish it right here but I am extremely tired due to these meds I was prescribed because I just recently got my wisdom teeth pulled out. For those who are about to there teeth pulled it doesn't hurt until after. But even that pain is minor so don't let anyone spook you. Just do what the doctors tell you and you should be fine.**

**PEACE**

**-Womboman**


	12. Chapter 12

**Alright so you know how I said this would be the last chapter I lied.. The next one may be short or it may be long.. Either way I plan on making it good. So read this one because the next one is coming shortly afterwards!**

"So Santa wants us to deliver the toys to little children across the Lylat system and do it correctly.. I think this is fucking insane!" Whitefur said

"Well come on.. This is Santa. He could totally bail us out of some stuff dude!" Wombo said

"Like what?" Tyronos asked

"I don't know but who wouldn't believe Santa?" they looked at him like he was an idiot but it's Wombo we're talking about here so who wouldn't believe he was an idiot?

"Alright.. Let's just get this done with already and get home. I wanna check out my FaceBook page." Tyronos said

"To the North Pole!" Wombo pointed forward and started the stationwagon up it hovering in the air. Wombo typed in the co-ordinates for Santa's workshop and sped off towards it.

* * *

She looked at his face which squirmed and struggled. She wanted to enter his mind and help calm him down but decided against it. She had a weird feeling call it Cerinian intuition but she felt like Fox and Santa were not in the safest spot ever now that Whitefur, Tyronos, and Wombo had left it felt extremely quiet and less secure. She turned around and eyed the room. It was still just them. _'I'm just being paranoid..'_ she heard a noise which sounded like someone tripped over something. She looked behind her shoulder and gasped at what she saw.

* * *

"Guys it is soooooo cold here!" Wombo said to the other two freezing vulpines he was with. The wind was going at about fifty miles an hour and the snow was whipping with it smacking them in the face freezing the fur on their face starting to form ice crystals on their whiskers. The wetness of their noses was also turned into ice.

"Come on knock on the door again!" Tyronos yelled

Wombo knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer the door. They waited for a good minute until a sweet little old lady opened the door. "Hello what may I do for you three handsome young men?"

"May we come in?" Whitefur asked

"Of course of course." She invited them inside and when they were inside she brushed off the snow off of their clothing.

"Thanks ."

"Oh no thank you boys for getting my hubby back to Corneria. I just hope nothing happens at the hospital. I would go check on him myself but I can't drive because I'm just too darn old. But I can still make the boys yell 'COUGAR!'"

They looked at each other a little creeped out by what she said but remembered why they were here in the first place. "Hey we need to deliver the presents while Santa is A.F.K. If you know what I mean."

"Oh yes. You're going to need to haul the presents into your stationwagon because our poor reindeer decided to get a little high while Santa was away." She pointed to the reindeer who were all passed out in their pen. Rudolph's nose was extremely red and it wasn't because it was naturally his color of his nose.

"They must've gotten the stuff from Utah." Wombo said Tyronos and Whitefur both nodding their head.

"So I'll show you where the bag of presents is and the list. Oh we'll also need to get you guys dressed up in his clothing if you're going to pass off as Santa.." she lead them to the wardrobe containing Santa's outfits he had extremely fit and fat suits. She pointed out the the smaller ones made for when Santa wasn't as big as he was now "Oh jeez I remember when he would come back after delivering presents and take me away with his massive gen-"

"Well thank you but we should get going."

"Oh yes don't mind me. Just rambling on about sex."

Whitefur then threw up all over the floor. Tyronos saw the mess and started feeling nauseous and with Whitefur still puking he hurled chunks too. Wombo also spilling the contents of his stomach on the floor as well..

She continued her rant on her and Santa's sex life "I like it when he sticks it in my-"

* * *

"Who's there?" Krystal asked. She could swear that someone was there. She left Fox's side to go check out the noise that had her a little frightened. She didn't see anyone there but out of no where a little tiny mouse scampered across the floor. She jumped at the sight of it and laughed for scaring herself like that. "Only a mouse.." she looked back to where Fox and Santa were situated. They looked so peaceful they were able to get cleaned up so that they didn't look beaten up. She sighed and waited for the nurse or the doctor to come in. It was a good five minutes before that happened. The doctor who was a bear came in and looked a little out of place.

"Um.. Hi are you their doctor?" She asked.. She was a little skeptical of him. He didn't look like he was here to cure them..

"Well.. I'm here to take care of them." She searched his mind quickly and found out that he was a hitman sent to kill both of them. She quickly whipped out her pistol from her side and shot the bear. He fell on his back and swore in Russian. He was still alive but dying quickly. She would need to interrogate him there was obviously more to this than met the eye. She put her boot on him keeping him from moving anywhere and pointed her gun straight for his face.

"Who sent you?" She demanded from him

"It won't matter you and those two will die."

She smacked him across the face with the butt of the pistol and repeated her question with more force "Who sent you?"

He chuckled spitting blood onto her boot "The Russians sent those three idiots so we could kill Santa ourselves." she kicked him in the face quickly returning it back to where it was. "Ha! You stupid bitch you will die if you stay here and defend these two. We will come down on you like Thai Hooker."

He disgusted her she laid him to rest by putting one in between his eyes. "We'll see about that."

* * *

"So now that we got these presents into the stationwagon we can get the fuck out of here right?" Tyronos asked. They set up the presents so that they would be able to shoot them out of where the Machine Gun Rockets were. So instead of deadly rockets it would be raining presents into the houses.

"Yeah come on Wombo start it up."

"Yeah I gotcha.." He turned the key and they hovered over the frozen wasteland that was the North Pole. "If I heard anymore about their sex-life I would've killed myself."

"I know what you mean. I mean old people sex is probably the grossest thing ever. Seriously I could watch two girls one cup and be fine but hearing that shit is just terrible." Tyronos said

They both nodded their head. There was a rustling in the back. "Hey what the hell is that?"

"I don't know but whatever it is will die!"

"DON'T KILL ME!"

"Bill? The mosquito?" out of the bag of presents came the huge mosquito.

"Hey guys what's up?" He asked

"Dude what are you doing here? It's dangerous for you to be here. It's deadly cold!"

"Yeah but.." Tears started to well up in his eyes "I just missed you guys so much so I followed you guys." He sat right next to Whitefur in the back and eyed him up "Say Whitefur I'm a little hungry do you think I could indulge in your blood?"

"No!"

"Come on! I'm starving!" the mosquito argued

"No! You probably leave bumps the size of soccer balls!"

"So?"

"MY POINT EXACTLY!"

She checked outside the room every so often like twice a minute keeping her hand over the pistol. When the nurse came in earlier and saw the dead Russian bear Krystal told her to get out of the building and call the National Guard to let them know that Fox and Santa were in danger. The National Guard still didn't show up. She didn't know when they would but hoped it would be soon. The Russians would find their way into the hospital sooner or later. She slowed her breathing hoping that it would bring them closer to her and she could make a move. She turned her head and saw a shadow move. _'They're here..'_ She felt around with her mind to try and find out exactly where they were and was successful. _'Here goes nothing..'_

"Why can't I just have a little sip?"

"Because you're a fucking huge mosquito. That's why!"

"Come on Tyronos be a pal."

"NO!"

"You're not fun.."

"Neither are big huge bites on my fucking arms!" Tyronos retorted Bill pouted in the corner and stared out the window.

"Alright guys this should be pretty simple we've got the Machine Gun Present Launcher able to aim at a house and it knows what the gift kids wanted and it will shoot that gift so we pretty much just gotta run through each neighborhood which should only take.. An Hour?" Whitefur predicted

"Alright well shit we can get that done assuming nothing weird happens." Tyronos said

Everything was going fine until they felt something hit the top of the stationwagon.. It sounded like..

"RUSSIANS!" Wombo yelled

"TAKE EVASIVE MANEUVERS!" Tyronos shouted.

"I swear to god if you tell me to do a barrel roll I'm going to bust a nut!" Wombo threatened

"What's a barrel roll?" Bill asked

"It's this!" Wombo said as he performed a barrel roll so perfect that event the old fuck Peppy would be proud of him.

"Don't do that again.. I think I'm going to puke!"

"Sorry Bill but we need to deliver these presents in mint condition or we're going to have extremely pissed off parents."

"Well alright but take it easy!"

"Come you bastards! You'll never take them as long as I live." she shouted to them.

"We only need the fat man!" they shouted at her

"You'll never take him!" She yelled as she shot one of the Russian bears. They growled at her but she only glowed in triumph

"Give us Santa and we'll leave you and McCloud alone! What do you say?" There was a silence and a cease fire as she thought about what could happen..

"Guys these Russians are not letting go! Why do they want to stop us?" Whitefur yelled

"I don't know Russians are fucking weird." Tyronos admitted

"Here we'll give em a little present I made for an occasion like this." Wombo smiled. He reached under the seat and all they heard was a click. "There that oughta keep those bastards at bay."

"What did you do?" Bill asked

"I totally blew their fucking shit up. Look behind you." They turned around to see a plume of smoke and fire in the air to be swept away by the wind like dust under a carpet.

"Well cool.. But.. Uh.. Wombo?"

"What's up Tyronos?"

"There is like four other ships still on our asses and no Slippy to distract them.."

Wombo looked behind him "I guess you're right..'

"What should we do?"

"..We fight till the death!"

Tyronos smacked him across the face "How about we totally annihilate them and stay alive?"

"That works too. Tyronos you want the guns or should Whitefur give them a motherfuckerin HOO RAH!"

"We'll both give them a HOO RAH! As long as you keep this thing steady."

"Can do! Ten Four good buddy!"

"Stop trying to suck my blood you son of a bitch!" Tyronos yelled

"How dare you accuse me of trying to do that."

"Whatever! Just don't distract me!"

"We got two of em coming on the right."

Tyronos looked for them and saw nothing "Come on dude give me something to work with."

"I don't know where they are hitting me from!"

Whitefur looked at a monitor in the back of the Tyronos's seat which had thermal-vision which allowed him to see outside during missions where it was either too foggy or too dark and they were surrounded. In this case it was because the snow was smacking the shit out of the stationwagon making it impossible to fire any of the weapons with a sure-shot. Whitefur yelled "Right beside you on your right Tyronos!" He took aim and it was beeping slowly in steady beats to mark that it was going to lock onto a Russian ship. It bleeped rapidly signaling a lock.

"FIRE!" the rocket flew making it's way towards the Russian ship cutting it's way through the air like a hot knife and butter. It made contact with the ship sending it to the frozen wasteland below. "I got one!"

"We've got three others! Don't get too penisy!" Whitefur said

"Quit quoting stupid one-liners!"

"I'm your father!" Wombo said

"SHUT UP!" Tyronos yelled as he fired another shot missing it flying right past it's intended target. "God damn it guys these Russians aren't going to kill themselves so shut the fuck up!" he took aim at the same one that got away.

"Lock!"

"Fire!" They were done delivering present to the eastern side of the globe when their second enemy had fallen. "Got another one of those son of bitches!"

"We're going to Brazil!" Whitefur said

"Well fuck! I said keep this bitch steady! Unless you want the Russians and Southern Americans to start a war over Santa!" Tyronos yelled

"That'd be sweet!" Wombo said

"My lord.." Tyronos whispered to himself "I got the shot!"

"Take it!"

"Chew on this Comrade!" Tyronos yelled as the rocket shot and followed the Russian "Come on go down already!" it hit the ship it falling ever closer to the ground until it exploded on contact with the hard floor below "That's what I'm talking about!"

"Well we got one left.. He hasn't shot at us this whole entire time though.." Whitefur noticed

"Whatever! He's going down like the rest of them!" Tyronos said as he took aim when he was finally in his scopes he said "I have you now.. Fuck I just did a line.." he shot at the ship which didn't even make an attempt to get out of the way and was quickly destroyed.

"That seems to be the last of them.." Tyronos settled back into his seat enjoying the various places they passed at an incredible speed that would allow them navigate around Corneria in an hour. The author isn't going to do the math to find the exact speed because honestly he's not that much of a dork. But he's writing a story about Santa being saved by the StarFox team or what's left of them. Stupid Command.. The fuck was that about?

They were able to make it back to the hospital without any other Russians attacking them. But when they went back to the room it was empty.

"What the hell.. Did they move Santa and Fox?" Whitefur asked

"I don't know Wombo go get the nurse and see if they moved them." Tyronos said

Wombo left the room. Whitefur and Tyronos searched the room for any clue of what else it could have been. Whitefur looked on Santa's bed and found a note.

"Hey guys the nurse says that some Russians came in and took him." Wombo said panting after running back

_'If you three idiots wish to have a Merry Christmas meet us at these coordinates..'_ there were certain numbers with longitude and latitude that Whitefur guessed lead to Moscow or something in Russia. _'We have Fox McCloud and the blue one.. Ooo She's a fighter.. Better hurry.. With Love From Russia.'_

"Guys we have to go!" Whitefur said running out the room

"Go where?" Tyronos asked following him with Wombo not far behind

"This note it says they're in Russia and they've got Santa and Fox and Krystal."

"What? Who's it from?" Wombo asked

"The Russians!"

"Of course! Russians! They're a re-occurring theme in anything good these days! Can't have something good without Russians!" Tyronos said

"There isn't much time!" He stressed they left the hospital rushing to the stationwagon quickly entering it shielding them from the harsh winds and severely cold temperatures "Come on Wombo get it started!"

"It is started!"

"Well let's go already!"

"We're already here!"

"FUCKING A!" they rushed out and there it was..

"Really another Dinosaur Tranny Tuesday? This is ridiculous.."

They shook their heads Tyronos asked Whitefur "So where do they want to meet us?"

"At an Ice bar."

"You mean this place? With Dinosaur Trannys? This is terrible! Why would they choose this place?"

"Because it's where we went the one night.." You should've been there it was nuts. "Come on hopefully this will be short.."

They followed Whitefur into the bar. It was party time for everyone the music was playing something hip and fresh nothing too stupid. It definitely wasn't Ke$ha thank God because white bitches can't rap. The lights nearly blinded them. The different array of colors flashed their faces like drunk white fat bitches at New Orleans during Mardi Gras. The heat was massive considering it was an ice bar. They were dancers in cages feeling themselves up trying to be sexy and get everyone's sexual desire up. Wombo looked at one of them and they looked familiar. He nearly threw up as he realized it was the tranny from the bar in Sauria. It noticed him and winked. That's when he puked on the floor disgusted that the same dinosaur followed them to Russia.

"Come on Wombo we need to find them and get the fuck out." Tyronos said helping him to his feet. Wombo wiped his face with his sweatshirt sleeve and nodded letting Tyronos know that he was fine.

"Sir they're here."

"Bring them to me.."

"Right away."

"Guys I don't know where the fuck we're going to find them."

"Split up we should be able to find them quicker. Report back at the bar in ten minutes." They split up going in different directions of the bar.

"Excuse me trying to get through here.." Tyronos had a hell of a time getting through all the people grinding up on other people. It was truly disgusting. He felt like he was in a porno and was getting double-teamed by two fat dudes. "God damn it.."

Whitefur wasn't having any better luck than Tyronos. He reached the back of the bar and was able to find Tyronos being suffocated by all the people and the lack of oxygen there of. He scanned the rest of the bar Wombo was no where in sight which could be bad. "You're coming with us." he heard and then was punched in the face becoming unconscious.

* * *

"Wake him.." he felt a splash of cold water on his face.

"Wake up you piece of shit." he felt a kick to his stomach bringing him down to the ground curling up into the fetal position.

"Leave him be.. He felt that one.. Wake up the other one."

_'The other one.. Who is this other one?'_

"Whitefur!" Tyronos exclaimed

"Tyronos?"

"Yeah its me.. Where is Wombo?" Whitefur's vision was blurry but he could tell that Wombo wasn't with them.

"He isn't here.."

"Oh he'll join us shortly.. He's currently finding where we hid Santa and them. Now we shall wait while he is returned to us."

_'Please Wombo.. Don't fuck this up..'

* * *

_

The faint noise of the music could be heard and felt in the back rooms.. He descended further down the basement finding nothing of interest so far. "Where could they be?" he continued down the poorly lit hallway to find a door at the end of it. He put his ear up to it and could hear voices from the other side. He shut out all other distractions and listened on their conversation.

A man with a heavy Russian accent spoke "So.. Krystal.. You're a telepath right?"

Wombo didn't hear a response from the vixen if she was truly there. "What am I thinking of?"

He heard a grunt of disgust. "Ah.. So you are a telepath.. Too bad your whole planet was destroyed.. Nasty little incident.. Have you ever wondered who did it?"

Once again he heard nothing but could feel the tension rising. "Well I'll tell you who did it.. It was us the Russians.. We hated your planet it was so fruitful and happy.. We blew it up during the Cold war so that the America's would be distracted with that and forget about the arms race which we are still in as of now.. But they don't know that. We were able to distract them and they focused their attention towards the destruction of you planet and any attempt to save the survivors.. But you were able to escape on your own."

"YOU BASTARDS! I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING THROATS OUT!"

"Oh seems I have struck a nerve.. No matter the Cerinians will be wiped out completely within a few moments.. Too bad.. A rose as beautiful as you shouldn't die.."

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

Wombo had enough and knew it was his cue to knock the door down and kick some major ass. He stood up in front of the door and yelled "HERE'S WOMBO!" and he kicked the door but only succeeded in knocking himself back. "Fucking door.." he charged the door and knocked it down. Dust flew everywhere blinding the Russian and who was crushed by the door. Wombo picked himself up and dusted himself off.

"Hey Krystal.. Need some help?"

"Yeah.. I do.." Wombo helped her out of the chair she was tied up in. She rubbed her wrists until they felt normal again and didn't bother her. She looked under the door and flipped it over revealing her watch-guard. She knelt down close to him and checked if he was alive by feeling his pulse on his neck. He was still alive. "Come on Krystal we need to go find Santa and Fox. We've got a ride out of here."

He looked back to her to see her beating the snot out of him. "Krystal! What are you doing?"

"TAKE THIS YOU RUSSIAN PIECE OF SHIT! HOW DARE YOU!" He tried to pull her back but only succeeded in getting hit in the face by her. "WE DID NOTHING!"

"Calm down bitch.." A calm voice said "You'll join your fallen brethren soon.." She turned around to see two Russians pointing their guns at her. "You won't be able to get revenge dead.. Co-operate and you may be able to get your chance."

She knew that much was true "Fine.. But you'll be the first to die."

"I can't wait.."

The Russian smacked Wombo in the forehead to wake him up because he was knocked out from her wicked ass punch**. ** "OW! YOU FUCKER!"

"Come on.. Our boss needs you alive.."

**There.. Chapter what is it.. Twelve? Yeah that one is done.. See ya later.. Rate and Review if you feel like it all that good stuff. Peace!**

**-Womboman**


	13. Chapter 13

**Here it is I promised it now here is your Christmas Present from me to you.. Don't bother me until January.. Ah hell I'll probably have some other stuff up on New Year's but no guarantees. Now please someone else write a Christmas story next year for the StarFox Archive I don't want to see a Christmasless Archive next year. Just one story please! Can you do that for good ol Womboman? He's a fucking saint!.**

They were held up by two big Russians they didn't give them any chance to squirm and were being dragged to a room with red carpets and two couches one completely hidden in darkness the other filled with two other Russians sitting on it. The bass from the club making it's way to the and Whitefur were also held up by two Russians. They didn't say a word to each other. But they spoke mentally acknowledging that this was fucked.

"So.. I see you have brought our guests to us.. That is good.." The voice behind the shadows was vaguely familiar to them. "We are so glad that you were able to fill Mother Russia's request by bringing us Santa.."

"We gave you what you wanted now let us go!" Wombo demanded

"You are in no mood to make requests Wombo.. Yes I know your names.. It was I who asked you to bring me the fat bastard.."

"So.. You're that Russian dude from chapters two and three?"

"Correct.." He revealed himself and yes it was the same jaguar from earlier engagements. His smile was cocky and arrogant full of pride. He walked over towards Krystal and examined her "Ah yes.. Krystal.. You're the one who's planet was destroyed.."

"I'll kill every last one of you.." she whispered

"Come now darling.. It wasn't all of the Russian people's choice.. There were those who disagreed.. They were killed.." He laughed as did the rest of his followers

"You disgust me!" She spat.

He quickly went back to her and held her face with his hand "Don't say that kind of thing to me.."

He shook her away her still glaring at him with unforgiving eyes "Don't you fucking touch her!" Tyronos yelled

He eyed her up and down making her feel even more angry to be looked at like some sort of animal "As you wish.." He chuckled and then spoke to one of his cronies "Bring him here.."

"Who are you talking about?" Whitefur asked in anger he was ignored

"Who are you talking about Russian?" Wombo yelled

"You'll see.."

Out of the darkness was the same hired gun but with him he carried Santa and Fox and threw them to the ground. ".. Good to see you."

He was conscious but barely.. "Fuck you.."

"Why such hostility? Come now we're not that different. We both are hired by for money and we kill those who get in our way."

"No the difference between you and me.." He spat "Is that I kill those who seek harm to others.. You kill for sport.."

The jaguar was silent then chuckled "Right.. Now do you see this?" he indicated the gun that was in his hand by tapping him on the head with it. "This is a gun.. I've killed many with this people who didn't need to die and those that did.. All for Russia." he pointed the end of the gun at his head tilting it slightly. "You're on Russia's list.."

"What are you going to do?" Krystal asked

"I'm going to serve my country again.." he said not taking his eyes from his target

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Wombo yelled

"IF YOU FUCKING PULL THAT TRIGGER YOU WILL DIE!" Tyronos shouted

"FOX! WE'LL AVENGE YOU!"

He laughed "I know you will.."

"I love you Fox." Krystal said a tear rolling down her face. What he wouldn't give to be able to hold her one more time.

"I love you too Krystal.. Good-bye.."

BANG! His body fell to the ground "FOX!"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

"WE'LL KILL YOU!"

"YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER!"

He merely spit on Fox's face which was expressionless. "Now it's her turn.." He aimed the gun at Krystal. "You'll see him soon.."

"YEE-HAW!"

It was a familiar voice.. "Bill?" the roof broke open revealing the stationwagon with the mosquito driving it giving a salute.

"TEN-FOUR GOOD BUDDY! I'M GOING TO BUST THIS PARTY WIDER THEN A FAT CHICK'S BRA!"

"SHOOT HIM!" they opened fire on the stationwagon not even leaving a scratch on the paint. There was screaming from the dance floor and people ran out scared for their lives. They didn't want to die so they didn't stick around to see where this could go.

"Now how in the heck do you fire the guns on this thing?"

"IT'S THE BIG BUTTON THAT SAYS KILL NOOBS!" Wombo shouted

"Oh I was wondering what that was for." The stationwagon immediately starting shooting bullets at amazing speeds.

"YOU'VE GOT TO AIM!"

"Jeez! I gotta do all this trivial shit.." one by one the Russians started falling. Whitefur had enough of this. He drew out his hidden blades and stabbed his babysitters merely to have them let go of him then he went in for the kill. A stab right through the throat slowly bleeding them to death.

Tyronos saw this and freed one of his arms and stabbed the other guard jumping on top of him freeing his other arm putting the other blade in his right eye. The other guard tried to get Tyronos but only succeeded in getting his lung punctured with stainless steel and losing his life.

Wombo had help from Whitefur and was free also. Tyronos saved Krystal who wasn't completely stable. She was crying in anger and sorrow. "I'LL KILL HIM MYSELF!" she spotted him running away from the scene. He knew he was going to lose. He was running down the flight of stairs. She ran straight for him. She was not going to let him get away. He was going to die today. She hunted him down and was quickly catching up to him. He turned around and swung his fist but missed and regretted it deeply for he punched in the face knocking him back.

"If that's the way you want to play it.. Fine.." He drew a double-edged sword from what seemed like nowhere and got in his battle stance by locking his legs.

She drew out her staff and charged him attacking high which he blocked. Every swing she threw at him was filled with emotion and passion. She attacked low which he jumped over but she did a spin move so it came back up and smacked him in the face sending him across the floor. He barely had any time to recover before she already attacked she stabbed at him which he barely squirmed away from. He attacked but hit her staff. She flipped it around and hit him drawing spit and blood sending two of his teeth flying. She bashed her staff into him with a blind fury he gave no effort to try to stop the onslaught. The three vulpines came down to watch and they pulled her off. She squirmed in their hold and yelled bloody murder.

"He's not worth it!"

"HE MUST PAY!"

"Calm down Krystal. It's okay!"

"IT'S NOT OKAY! FOX IS DEAD!"

"Beating the shit out of this guy won't bring him back."

"IT'LL MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!"

"No it won't! Fox wouldn't want you to become an animal like him!"

She stopped thrashing around and listened. The jaguar started getting up but Tyronos decked him across the face sending him back to the floor. "Nice hit Tyronos." he nodded in approval "Krystal I know he's gone.. But you need to take it a little better.. I have no clue how hard it was and is for you right now.. But it'll work itself out.."

"It won't.. It can't.." She started crying again she buried her head into Wombo's chest. He didn't know what to do so he held her looking at Whitefur and Tyronos to see if it was cool. They had no clue either. "I just left StarWolf and I was going to be with Fox we made amends and now he's gone.. Once again I without a family.. I think I should just end it all.."

"Don't do that! We'll work this out Krystal.. It'll be fine.."

A divine light lit up the vacant dance floor. They turned to it. Krystal left Wombo's embrace and walked towards it. A female fox who's fur was as white as freshly fallen snow made slowly descended down the light. Her eyes were bright and beautiful their color was an unmatched silver. Fog covered her lower body. She must have been a goddess or something. The Jaguar spoke "Mother.. Mother Russia?"

"It is me.. You have disgraced me my child."

"I apologize but I was just about to kill the infidels when-"

"I will have none of your talk you will be silent now or you will be silenced forever." he shut his mouth

"Damn she told him."

"Shutup Wombo."

The mysterious vixen turned her attention to Krystal "Now my child.. I have heard your cries and it deeply saddens me for your loss.. But.. I think I can help.." Krystal's ears perked up and she paid even more attention than before. "I can bring him back.. But I need you to promise me.. That your love for him will never falter. You will remain ever faithful to the vulpine."

"I can do this." She said wiping a tear away

"If you may follow me to him I will fulfill my end of the bargain." Krystal and Mother Russia went upstairs while the three vulpines remained downstairs to deal with the jaguar

"What should we do with him?" Whitefur asked

"I say we hang him by his balls and have kids beat him with a stick like a pinata." Wombo suggested

"We can do better than that can't we?" Tyronos asked

"Yeah.. How about we drive him around the world as fast as we can.. By his balls!" Wombo said

"I don't know.. I guess we could ask people to write a review for it and post yet another chapter.." Whitefur said

"Well.. I guess but how many people are actually reading this story?" Wombo asked

"Like two?" Tyronos guessed

"Well.. I guess they can suggest stuff.. Whatever.. Pan over to Krystal and Russia.. We'll just post another chapter with the punishment for this guy." Whitefur said

* * *

They stood over the corpse of Fox and looked at him. His eyes were closed his blood came out of his head where the wound from the bullet had taken a spot in his head. Krystal started to tear up again but Mother Russia consoled her just by being there for her.

"Now I'm going to need the utmost concentration.. Please if you would join me in prayer.." she held out her hand which Krystal took carefully "Now my child we may begin." she started uttering words in some ancient and forgotten language. Fox's blood began to go back into his head. His body hovered above the ground with a white light shining down upon him. A ball no larger than a marble came from this light and made it's way into Fox's mouth. Fox drew in a deep breath of air and once again was among the living. She wanted to run right up to him but was scared that the ritual would be interrupted. Mother Russia continued speaking in the language with more force now than ever. The walls shook violently storms formed over the hole in the roof lightning crashed. Krystal ignored it and only grasped Mother Russia's hand tighter. She noticed this and stopped the ritual for it was finished. Fox lay on the ground motionless. She looked at Mother Russia who gave the OK. She slowly walked towards Fox and gazed at his face. His eyes were closed.

She broke the silence "Fox?"

"Krystal?"

She picked him up and hugged him. He groaned a little in pain but he didn't care. He was back with her and nothing could tear them apart. He stared into her eyes which stared back into his. They were full of love and trust and compassion. Something he hasn't seen in a long time. "I love you Krystal."

"I love you too Fox." She did something she thought she wouldn't be able to do in a long time. She kissed him and he kissed back. This was better than the one in his mind. They stayed that way for a while not even realizing that Mother Russia had left.

**I hate this fucking story.. Next chapter I swear to god will be the final one. Please.. Just give me a minute**


	14. Chapter 14

"Well guys it's been fun but I've got to get back to the old ball and chain. HO HO HO! Have a good one!" Santa laughed heartily

"Yeah see ya later!" Whitefur shouted as they watched him ride off in a taxi back to the North Pole they heard him yell

"MERRY CHRISTMAS! HO HO HO!"

"Is that all he ever says? Does he like have some monkey in his head that keeps on clapping and screaming as loud as possible Merry Christmas." Tyronos said

"Well whatever he's old.. Probably a little senile.. So yeah that's probably all that's going through his head."

"Well I'm just glad everything is back to normal." Fox said Krystal wrapped around his arm both of them still looking for Santa

"Yeah hopefully we don't need to save something in a good long time.." Wombo said they all silently agreed by nodding their heads. "But what do we do now?"

This drew an interesting point. They still had the Russian guy to punish for his crimes tied up in the back of the stationwagon.

"Well.. Seeing as no one left or sent a suggestion as to how we should punish him we're totally going to do this ourselves.. Wombo!"

"Yes Whitefur?"

"Get the secret stash.."

"You mean?"

"Yup.. Go!"

Within minutes he came back with a whole bunch of explosives, TNT, fireworks, sparklers, you fucking name it.. It was there.. Anyway they drove out to the New York's Square Garden where the biggest fucking Christmas tree was. This thing is huge and decorated from top to bottom with lights shining bright with colors of all sorts, red, green, white, being the most noticeable. Snow lightly covered it making it seem like there were little tiny rainbows from the white. It was truly beautiful.

"Drag that guy over here.. Right by the pile that's right.." Whitefur very pleased with himself "Alright help me tie him to the big one.." He signaled Tyronos and who had the rope and tied him up the one that on the side said "The Big Red =D"

"You American scum will not get away with this! Russia will come for you!"

"I'm sure they will.." Tyronos said lighting up the match off the back of his teeth

"Can I light it?" Wombo asked jumping up and down

"Sure.. But make sure you don't burn yourself.."

"FIRE! I GOT THE FIRE!" he laughed maniacally swinging it around dousing the flame "Oh.. Shit.."

Tyronos smacked his forehead and light up another one "Try not to put this one out.." he handed the new match to him

"Right.. Sorry.." he approached the cord that would be the jaguar's demise if lit.. With fire

"No.. Don't light that! NO! DON'T LIGHT THAT PLEASE! I HAVE A WIFE AND THREE KIDS!"

"Oh.. Alright I won't light it." Everyone gasped at Wombo said

"You won't?" he asked

"Yeah I won't... NOT!" Wombo then put the match close to the cord while the Russian spit out excuses trying to protect his worthless hide. The cord lit slowly burning away counting down the Russian's time.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! I'LL KILL EVERYONE LAST ONE OF YOU! THIS IS NOT THE LAST YOU'VE SEEN OF ME!"

"Yeah I'm pretty sure it is. See ya!" Whitefur said giving him a fake salute

"FUCK YOU AMERICAN SWINE! YOU WILL ALL BURN IN HELL!" he yelled the flame halfway through the string

"Russians first." Tyronos taunted

"I WILL BE AVENGED!" he yelled hysterically until the flame had reached its destination

"Everyone I would now put on your sunglasses to prevent temporary blindness." Whitefur instructed and everyone did.

The firework lifted off breaking the sound barrier taking the Russian with them.. In spectacle that cannot be described in words by any mortal being the show itself was so epic putting it lightly in a sense that the colors lighting up the dark sky reaching the far reaches of the Lylat system it was incredible. Imagine having sex with like the hottest chick in the world and she has a twin. Imagine how cold Leonardo DiCaprio's character was when he was in the freezing water in the movie Titanic. Imagine a world where everything on it is so pure and fresh and filled with beauty. Imagine the intesity of one thousand suns all burning. Imagine the greatest band in the world Metallica coming to play at your sixteenth birthday party and imagine being in the mosh pit because everyone came and followed and the crowd is all warmed up because Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax all decided to come too. Take all of those examples multiply them by the number 12252010 and that's how amazing it was.

When it was all over everyone was blown away with what they just saw and were completely and utterly stunned.

"My god Whitefur that.. Was fucking awesome.."

"Not my best work but it'll do.. Wait I've got one more firework."

"Well what is it?"

"I think you'll like it. It's very festive."

Out of the jacket he was wearing he pulled out another firework. "Tyronos hit me up with another match." he threw him the entire pack "Thanks.." he lit one up and held it close to the firework's strand and as soon as lit up he stepped back and told everyone to do the same. They watched the little flame work its way up into the explosive. It shot off and made a loud hissing noise which everyone covered their ears except Whitefur. "Look guys or you're going to miss it!" they followed it with their eyes as it made it's descent up into the sky to eventually explode.

It made a little pop noise then a loud boom was heard nearly popping everyone's ears. It colors of red, white and green it read

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

**There is the end of this story and just in time for Christmas. I'm so clever or sneaky! Hope you liked it if not I'm sorry you didn't like it and I would like it if you could tell me how to improve.**

**So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Have a Kick-Ass Kwanzaa, and to any other holidays that I'm not aware of Have A Wombolicious (Insert Holiday)**


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